Effortlessly Finding the Things You Truly Need
Second Edition
Catherine Magree
http://inspiredshopper.blogspot.com
This revised and updated edition copyright 2012 by Catherine Magree. All rights reserved. Apart from any use permitted under the Copyright Act 1968 and subsequent amendments, no part of this book may be reproduced, copied or transmitted in any way without the prior written permission of the author.
This book is dedicated to Michael Wilbur-Ham, whose sage advice gave it a second chance, and the memory of Frank O’Hara.
… the real dividing line between the things we call work and the things we call leisure is that in leisure, however active we may be, we make our own choices and our own decisions; we feel for the time being that our life is our own.
Raymond Williams
Contents
Chapter 1: What Is Inspired Shopping?
Principles of Inspired Shopping
Chapter 2: Becoming an Inspired Shopper
Chapter 3: Harnessing the Magic
Chapter 4: Emotions and Inspired Shopping
How to distinguish between intuition and emotions
How are shopping and emotions linked?
Tips for dealing with the emotional aspects of shopping
Chapter 5: Old-Fashioned Advice with a Dash of Inspiration
‘Just browsing’: dealing with salespeople
The morning after: shopping ‘mistakes’
Chapter 6: Becoming Frugal and Fair with Inspired Shopping
Terrific tips for defensive shopping
Chapter 7: Develop Your Style on the Cheap with Inspired Shopping
Become your own stylist using intuition
Find great clothes on a budget
Handmade clothes and independent labels
Chapter 8: The ‘Biggies’ – Appliances, Cars, Real Estate
Buying a set of wheels intuitively
Thriving in the real estate jungle
Chapter 9: Inspired Shopping in Everyday Life
Inspired Shopping for those with ‘too much’ money
Serene shopping with friends, family and partners
Inspiration at the supermarket
Finding the perfect parking spot
Appendix 1: Intuition Techniques
Appendix 2: Australian Consumer Organisations
Appendix 3: Australian Consumer Law in a Nutshell
~~~~~~~~~
Introduction
Welcome to the wonderful world of Inspired Shopping! This book is for all shoppers who want to save money and find fabulous goods – from those who adore plunging into a crush of bargain seekers to those who fervently wish that shopping malls and stores had never been invented. From those who consider themselves masters of the retail hunt to those who experience a temporary frontal lobe bypass as soon as they enter yet another bewildering retail environment. From those who live for their next Bottega Veneta ‘investment’ to those who never buy any non-perishable item that hasn’t had at least one previous owner.
This book is meant to empower you as a shopper, to introduce you to the resources you already have within you to shop effectively and for significantly less outlay. It’s about finding the right things, at the right time, with a minimum of hassle. It’s about spending less and saving a significant amount of money if you spend too much, and spending wisely if you’re too scared to spend at all. It’s about becoming conscious of how and why you shop, and what the consequences are – for you, for other beings, and for the planet. I wrote it because I used to be a lousy shopper and I became a good one – and you can too!
Actually, to say I was a lousy shopper is being kind. For many years it was a matter of luck whether the things I bought turned out to be good purchases or not.
When it came to large purchases, my idea of research was to talk to a salesperson at the nearest appliance store, and go with their recommendation. But clothes were the worst area. Sometimes I’d stumble on a fantastic bargain, but all too often I’d be tramping around for hours in search of the right dress to wear to a wedding, or some work clothes, with no way of gauging if the choices I made were actually any good. I frequently ended up with clothes in cuts and colours that didn’t suit me at all.
I’d been reading the books of personal growth teacher Shakti Gawain for years, and was particularly attracted to her ideas about intuition. But while I understood and trusted these ideas, somehow I didn’t trust myself enough to put them into practice.
About 16 years ago I joined a 12-step program. This helped me realise it was okay to let go a bit and not try to control everything. Later I started to combine this idea with Gawain’s and others’ notions of intuition. The penny was starting to drop, so to speak. A few years after that, I learned about the ancient Buddhist technique of mindfulness. This gave me a firm base from which to experiment with shopping intuitively.
After that my shopping improved dramatically. For the first time I felt comfortable enough to buy things that were right for me. Not only did I start to take risks with fashion and develop a much stronger style, but I gradually became confident enough to trust my intuition when buying expensive goods that I hoped to get years of use from. And my confidence paid off: the goods I bought proved excellent value for money, and began to reflect who I really was.
Not only that, but I developed the ability to save money while buying the things I needed, even when my income was erratic.
I don’t want to give the impression that I sat at home painstakingly developing a theory of shopping. I had to practise Inspired Shopping to become an inspired shopper. It took about five years to finetune the process – thankfully you can skip all that learning and benefit from my experience! (If you’d like to know more about my shopping history, it’s detailed in Chapter 3.)
It would be dishonest not to admit that this book is coloured by my experiences as a frugal fashionista who can’t leave the house until I’ve got my ‘look’ for the day just right. But the ideas you’ll find here apply equally whether you’re male or female, young or old, an idealistic baby boomer, a cynical Gen X, an individualistic Gen Y or a savvy Gen Z. And, in case it all gets too esoteric, I’ve included heaps of shopping tips and resources that cover the practical aspects of this uniquely human activity. You’ll also find anecdotes that illustrate the Inspired Shopping principles, useful facts about how and why people shop, and exercises to assist you on your journey to becoming an inspired shopper.
It is possible to avoid both the extreme highs and lows that shopping can produce – like an experienced trader on the stockmarket, you can be aware of your emotions but not be ruled by them. You can save money while buying the things that are right for your lifestyle as well as your ethics. You can play the shopping game and win! And, I venture to claim, you can experience a genuine sense of satisfaction from your shopping – the satisfaction of not denying who you are, and of using what you buy to genuinely improve your life.
~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 1: What Is Inspired Shopping?
Congratulations on buying this book! You’ve taken the first step to becoming an inspired shopper – and that means a more contented, effective and penny-wise shopper.
Chances are, like many people, you’re not happy with the way you shop, or the results you get from shopping. Do any of the following describe your situation?
* Your income has reduced sharply and you need advice on spending your pennies wisely.
* You’re a confident shopper in some areas, but hopeless in others.
* You’re rushed off your feet and want to learn how to shop more efficiently.
* You love snapping up bargains and want to become better at hunting them down.
* You want to become an environmentally friendly, ethical shopper or cut out unnecessary new goods altogether.
* You’re onto your third credit card, yet you arrive home from the mall with stuff that you hardly ever use, and you can never seem to find things in the stores that you do need.
* You’re scared to make extravagant or large purchases because you find it hard to arrive at a final decision.
* You would rather wrestle a grizzly bear in the Canadian Rockies than take a leisure shopping trip.
Becoming an inspired shopper can help with these challenges while turning shopping into an exciting adventure. Better still, it can bring your shopping into perspective so that it takes up the time and money it should, and no more.
Why do we shop?
Many of us adore shopping. We seek out busy malls and shopping strips, where we relish the ambience of sleek stores, dig out bargains, check out our fellow shoppers, and even get some exercise; we regularly steal a few pleasant hours browsing through a wealth of appealing stores on the web.
With all the competing motivations that guide our shopping behaviour and choices, we often feel confused when we hit a shopping mall or open a web browser or store app. The bright lights, the music, the crowds, or those pristine goods glowing so appealingly on the screen – it’s difficult to stay in touch with what we really want and why we decided to shop in the first place.
Urban geographer Jim Pooler suggests that for modern consumers ‘shopping is culture’ and that it amounts to ‘a solemn rite, a ceremonial act that is an integral part of every person’s life’.
In fact, when we engage in a bout of leisure shopping, we’re not just out to hunt down goods that we need. The stores we visit are selling us lifestyles and identities: the promise of a new and happier self.
This concept of shopping seems to have been dreamed up by a visionary French entrepreneur, Aristide Boucicaut. He owned one of the world’s first department stores, Le Bon Marche in Paris. The innovations he introduced, and that we now can’t imagine life without, include price tags, the ability to return goods, regular sales, relying on high turnover to sell goods with a low mark-up, and the very idea of browsing. He also offered his grateful customers amenities such as lifts, home delivery, a buffet area and free newspapers. According to academic Sally Feldman, ‘The freedom to wander and gaze without having to buy ... was the most arresting feature’ of the store. And this, of course, is what still seduces us today.
Most important of all, Boucicaut decided that he was not just selling individual goods, but a lifestyle. Boucicaut’s consumer paradise offered customers more than the satisfaction of material needs. He was selling consumer desire itself. In the 1920s, public relations pioneer Edward Bernays would do the same in the realm of advertising and marketing: he realised that to make people consume, campaigns had to appeal to fundamental human desires and drives.
Boucicaut was decades ahead of his time, but not just through his concept of an inviting store that would offer a complete experience. He focused on a target market that was ignored and denigrated at the time by a sexism that had permeated every discourse: women. Department stores became portals to female emancipation. They got women out of the house and into the public sphere and gave them objects of desire and aspiration. Is it any wonder that so many women still adore leisure shopping today?
Boucicaut must have understood the pleasure shopping can produce, although of course he wouldn’t have known the science behind it. When we spot a bargain, find a new product or gaze at an attractive window display (or website) our brains produce a rush of dopamine, the chemical of pleasure. While compulsive shoppers are addicted to this chemical reaction, we all experience it. Neuroscientist Dr Gregory Berns, quoted by Tara Parker-Pope, claims that the dopamine we produce when we see that glossy, fire-engine-red Louis Vuitton handbag we simply must have, or the latest eagerly awaited version of the iPhone, can propel us to buy it. Not surprisingly, he warns that purchases fuelled purely by this reaction can often be unwise.
Marketers are finding more and cleverer ways to get into our psyches and fuel that hit of dopamine. The developing science of neuromarketing uses cutting-edge brain-scanning techniques to discover how our brains respond to marketing stimuli; wunderkind Martin Lindstrom’s Buyology is the bible of this emerging field. With marketing now able to target our unconscious motivations so precisely, it’s more important than ever to understand and manage the forces that drive us to buy.
Identifying your own motivations for shopping doesn’t mean you have to put on a hair shirt and confine your shopping list to dried lentils. If you enjoy spending a day out with your pals exploring the latest design trends, or taking the family to the local mall for a meal and a browse on a Saturday, go for it. But if shopping is taking up too much of your time, and if you’re buying too many things you don’t really want, it might be a good idea to take a step back and ask if there are other ways you can fulfil some of your needs. Chapter 4 looks in more detail at the emotional reasons behind the urge to shop.
The trouble with shopping
Despite (or perhaps because of) the pleasure it gives us, there’s something profoundly wrong with the way many of us shop these days, and the amount we’re lugging home. The difficult truth is that as a society we’re great at acquiring things, and not so great at distinguishing between those things that are genuinely useful and those that aren’t. Many of us shop for the sheer enjoyment of it rather than the use we’ll get out of what we buy.
The irony is that shopping too much at the expense of meaningful human contact and creative pursuits ultimately makes us miserable. In their book Affluenza, economists Clive Hamilton and Richard Denniss assert that marketers want to ensure that we constantly feel deprived. We therefore keep buying – but the point is we never feel that we have enough. And why would we? The material possibilities of this world are almost endless. And even if we get our hands on the latest gadget, it’ll be out of date in a few months time and we’ll feel deprived again.
Manufacturers and the retail, advertising and finance industries conspire to keep us locked in this endless pattern of consumption. The availability of cheap credit encourages us to stock up on goods we can’t afford. Retailers warn of economic catastrophe when consumers reduce their discretionary spending. Advertising and marketing messages imply that without the latest products we’ll be old, unattractive, unloved and irrelevant. Manufacturers design their products to last for only a small number of years; in What’s Mine is Yours, Rachel Botsman and Roo Rogers explain how companies first encouraged obsolescence by continually introducing minor changes to their products, before realising they could build obsolescence into the product itself.
The results of this endless pressure to buy are sobering:
* According to market research organisation comScore, Americans spent almost $37.2 billion on online shopping during the 2011 Christmas holiday period alone (1 November to 31 December), up 15 per cent from 2010.
* As reported on the Worldtech24 website, the US online retail sector is expected to be worth $279 billion by 2015.
* In December 2010, US consumer debt (known as ‘revolving debt’) was over $800 billion, according to the US Federal Reserve.
* The Australian Bureau of Statistics reports that in 2010, retail turnover in Australia was more than $242 billion, seasonally adjusted.
* Australians owed more than $50 billion on their credit cards in November 2011, according to Reserve Bank of Australia statistics.
* A 2005 survey led by Clive Hamilton found that Australians were spending more than $10.5 billion a year on items that they never or hardly used.
* A 2007–08 survey by Josh Fear found that 88 per cent of homes had at least one room that was cluttered, and the average home had at least three. Four out of ten Australians felt ‘anxious, guilty or depressed about the clutter in their homes’, 84 per cent had spent money just to deal with their excess goods, and 29 per cent reported that their clutter was stopping them ‘enjoying their time at home’.
* According to a 2009 article on the Choice magazine website, Australians are exposed to around 5000 advertisements a day.
* The Environment Protection and Heritage Council reports that in 2006–07 Australians generated more than 2000 kilograms of waste per person.
* Shopping apps can now determine when and where we shop. A 2010 survey reported by Wireless and Mobile News found that 59 per cent of mobile (cell) phone users intended to use their phones for holiday shopping; 64 per cent of those people planned to check their phone before they went to a store.
* A patch of 3.5 million tonnes of mostly plastic garbage is floating in a remote part of the Pacific Ocean, according to Botsman and Rogers. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch and places like it may in fact cover up to 40 per cent of the sea.
Yet books that object to modern consumerism usually don’t address the emotional aspects of shopping, or the fact that some of us love recreational shopping and don’t want to give it up. Nor do they offer solutions to those who hate shopping and aren’t very good at it – you still have to purchase essential items even if you’re trying to reduce your carbon footprint to something more like a thumbprint. And they don’t offer much hope to those who are forced by circumstances to be frugal and for whom bargain hunting is a necessity.
Inspired Shopping can take both the drudgery and excess out of your shopping experiences. Its simple principles can lead to more successful, happier shopping and save you time and money. In the following pages you’ll learn about the basis of Inspired Shopping – how to stay present while shopping and use your own inner resources, whatever your budget, to buy the things you truly want and need. You’ll realise – perhaps for the first time – that you don’t have to go into debt to buy the things that are right for you. And you may also discover along the way that you can have most of your retail needs met while buying ethically.
This book is not meant to encourage you to focus too much on material goods. On the contrary, I’m hoping you can use it to make the most of your money, which will leave you with more to build a secure future for yourself and your family, or support your favourite causes. And Inspired Shopping is efficient shopping, which will free up more time for doing the things you enjoy, and getting to know yourself better, away from the stores.
Principles of Inspired Shopping
Inspired Shopping harnesses a marvellous tool that you already have, but may currently use only occasionally, and probably accidentally, to save money and buy the things that will enrich your life – your intuition. You’ll be learning how to tap into this incredible resource every time you go shopping, so that the goods you buy will be just right for you, and your shopping experiences will help you grow as a person. Two other important principles – mindfulness and letting go – combine with intuition to make your shopping experiences more effective, more efficient and more fun.
Intuition is a deep inner knowing, a sense of internal guidance that steers us towards doing the things that are best for us on every level. It can seem like a kind of magic, but it’s very much grounded in the present and our everyday feelings and experiences. Because shopping is about finding the things that are right for you, it’s possible for this ‘sixth sense’ to be at your service whenever you’re at the stores, whether online or off.
A superbly cut cream jacket from a high-end chain store for 60 per cent off the original price; a bargain-priced, environmentally friendly washing machine that delivers incredibly clean clothes that feel as if they’ve been gently handwashed; a retro 70s table for under $100 that was an almost uncanny fit for the style and size of my dining room – these are just a tiny fraction of the small and large treasures I’ve found as an inspired shopper.
Shakti Gawain suggests that ‘if we have too many things we don’t truly need or want, our lives become overly complicated’. When you become an inspired shopper the material goods you buy will be in harmony with who you are and your particular life journey. They will truly enhance your life, and may even enhance your personal development!
Buying this way will inevitably save you money (unless you’re seriously phobic about spending, in which case it might free you to spend a little more). But saving money is a wonderful byproduct of the process. Of course, having the structure of a budget is vital if you want to save in the long term, and Chapter 6 includes advice on preparing a budget. But once you have that structure in place, you won’t have to put a lot of effort and thought into striking the ideal balance between buying and saving – your intuition will do it for you.
Another great effect of Inspired Shopping is that you stay in touch with who you are and your personal journey while you shop. I want you to allow yourself to be fully present and feel your emotions while buying the goods that are right for you. You’ll discover that ‘tuning in’ rather than ‘tuning out’ can be a marvellous way to let your intuition lead you to exciting and unexpected shopping finds, and you’ll become a smarter, calmer, more aware shopper.
You may be concerned that this book asks you to focus on intuition at the expense of your rational mind. Not at all – the two work in harmony. Yet if you try to base your shopping choices solely on rationality, you’ll get stuck. You can’t possibly know all the possible factors that determine whether each choice is a good one. Intuition is a supplementary force that can take these factors into account. Your emotions play an important role too, and we’ll come to that later.
Keys to shopping intuitively
Look around your home, at your furniture, your wardrobe, your office, your garage. No doubt you already own a number of items that you bought intuitively – can you identify some of them? ‘Inspired’ items tend to fit into your life almost uncannily. Furniture and knick-knacks match the room they were bought for and often look better there than they did in the store. Clothes match up with, and give new life to, your existing clothes, and enhance your appearance. Tools and gadgets are those you end up using all the time and wonder how you ever did without. Digital technologies fit seamlessly into your life and effortlessly enhance it.
The Inspired Shopper shows you how to use your intuition so that on more of your shopping trips you’ll end up with items like this. It provides guidance on a huge array of shopping situations, including returning goods; buying big-ticket items; shopping on the internet; shopping with children, friends and partners; and supermarket shopping. While the book is aimed at people on a wide range of incomes, Chapter 6 is filled with tips for the budget-conscious.
There are no guarantees of shopping success every time you hit the shopping centre or start clicking that oh-so-convenient mouse or keypad. But if you become an inspired shopper, your success rate is likely to increase, perhaps dramatically!
Guidelines, not rules
In writing The Inspired Shopper I’ve tried not to formulate a set of rules, but to suggest a number of guidelines to get you in touch with your unique inner guidance. Many books on self-improvement offer set programs – regimes that you have to follow to improve in a particular area. In contrast, how you use the suggestions in this book is up to you.
I say this because intuition ultimately answers only to itself – it doesn’t always obey the rules. I know this from experience: there have been many times when I’ve decided to follow some exercise plan or spiritual practice to the letter and my inner promptings have led me to do otherwise. It’s easy to become critical of yourself in these circumstances: ‘I didn’t feel like going back to tai chi this term – does this mean I’m lazy?’ But our intuition is never wrong!
My assertion in this book is that everyone can benefit from using intuition in their shopping lives, and the guidelines I provide can help you to do that. But once you’ve tapped into your intuition, you are the expert on how it operates. My ultimate aim is to enhance the pleasure you get from shopping, minimise the pain, and show you how to find the right goods for less outlay.
A dynamic retail world
The future of shopping, and increasingly its present, is an amazing place. It’s not just the explosion in internet shopping and special-offer websites that are transforming what we buy and how we buy it. Talking shelves, pop-up stores, the ability to order goods from a store window – these are just some of the mainstream innovations that retailers are putting in train to keep increasingly fussy and money-conscious consumers going to bricks-and-mortar stores. And with the advent of smartphones, we’re now bamboozled by a range of shopping apps that provide on-the-spot store and product information, special offers, and convenient purchasing.
Meanwhile online fashion stores will soon be able to offer customers virtual changing rooms in which they can view garments fitted onto their own virtual bodies.
At the other end of the spectrum, the internet has fostered an upsurge of new shopping subcultures based on ethical, frugal and green principles. Sales of Fairtrade and sustainable goods, sewing and handcrafts, thrifting as a fine art, the upcycling of secondhand goods, and forms of collaborative consumption like swapping and freecycling are all on the increase, with a proliferating number of blogs and websites to guide interested consumers.
I treasure the social aspects of bricks-and-mortar stores, and I’d be heartbroken if the internet killed off traditional shopping strips, which are hubs for small business and vibrant local communities. Used wisely, smartphones may be the key to getting the best of both worlds as they continue to transform the traditional shopping experience.
Inspired Shopping is your guide through the maze. It shows you how to access the unique inner power that will enable you to make wiser choices that will benefit you in the long term, both financially and otherwise, no matter how and where you choose to shop.
Shopping sustainably
More and more people are concerned about social justice and the future of the planet. They want to shop in ways that minimise carbon emissions and environmental degradation, and avoid exploitation of workers and cruelty to animals.
While ethical shopping isn’t the main focus of The Inspired Shopper, the book provides an excellent framework for anyone who wants to make significant changes to the way they shop, such as moving towards eco-friendly and non-exploitative shopping. It teaches you to shop with awareness; learning how to do this will reduce the number of items you buy while increasing the enjoyment you get from them.
In addition, Chapter 6 has a section on making the transition to ethical shopping, and Chapter 7 has a section for frugal fashionistas who want to dress ethically without breaking the bank. Both chapters include information on buying secondhand, a great way to reduce both your carbon footprint and worker exploitation.
Getting down to business
Each chapter of this book includes exercises to help you become a more relaxed, skilled and effective shopper, and most of them involve writing. I suggest you create a shopping journal in which to complete the writing component of the exercises. Buy a bound notebook that appeals to you, and keep it exclusively for completing the exercises in the book and for noting down anything about your shopping experiences or habits that is significant to you.
Don’t feel you have to do either all the exercises or none at all. Not every exercise will appeal to you, or apply to your current shopping habits – we all have our shopping strengths and weaknesses. By the same token, some of the exercises can be done as many times as you like in areas that you feel you need practice in. However, the exercises in Chapter 2 are particularly important in learning the basics of Inspired Shopping. If you’re really busy, you might prefer to think about the questions in the exercises rather than writing down your responses.
The other supplies you will need are a cheap diary or calendar and a ring-binder A4 folder.
Throughout this book I mention a number of research findings. Rather than using a referencing system, I’ve referred directly to the author or other source in the text. I also list a number of useful websites throughout the book. You’ll find all references, and a listing of website addresses, in the References and Resources section near the end of the book.
I sincerely hope you can’t wait to start reading this book, but I have to insist that you read the Disclaimer first – it’s boring but important!
I’d love to find out how readers make use of the Inspired Shopping principles. Your feedback is valuable – please tell me about your experiences as an inspired shopper, ways that the book may have helped you, and areas where you’d like more information. Please email me at caetem@yahoo.com.
It’s now time to start your journey as an inspired shopper – I hope you enjoy the process as much as I have!
Exercise 1a – Spending time away from the shops
Imagine that you could cut the time you spend shopping for non-essential items by half. What would you do with the extra time? Write a list of some hobbies, pastimes or projects you could commence, complete or spend more time on if you spent significantly less time shopping.
Exercise 1b – Shopping strengths and weaknesses
Draw up two columns headed ‘shopping strengths’ and ‘shopping weaknesses’ respectively. Have a think about aspects of your shopping that you’re happy with (eg know how to deal with salespeople, give my friends objective advice when I shop with them, good at searching for what I need on Google) and those areas you’d like to work on (eg spend too much money on make-up or music, spend too much time browsing the internet, don’t give myself enough time to make good shopping decisions, hate buying homewares or clothes) and write them down.
Use this list as a basis for reviewing your progress after you’ve completed The Inspired Shopper.
Take-home tips
~ Inspired Shopping has very few rules; I won’t be telling you to always buy secondhand, always buy high-quality goods, never buy goods at full price or only buy from budget stores. The only ‘rules’ to obey are that your intuition is the final arbiter, and that you’re under no obligation to buy just because someone makes you an attractive offer.
~ Inspired Shopping will save you money because it enables you to find the things you really need faster and for less outlay. But it goes further than this: learning how to shop intuitively and mindfully can enhance your entire life, helping you to discover more about yourself, manage your emotions and develop your own unique style.
~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2: Becoming an Inspired Shopper
Are you ready to become an inspired shopper? This chapter covers the basic steps. You may want to return to it whenever you feel you need a refresher.
Inspired Shopping is based on three major principles – intuition, mindfulness and letting go. The most important of these is the use of intuition in all stages of the shopping and buying process. Whether you’re:
* on a low income and watching every cent
* saving up for a housing deposit or servicing a mortgage
* embarrassingly wealthy
* a successful long-term penny pincher
* spending half your income on clothes and entertainment
* an ethical fashionista or determined thrifter
you can benefit from using your intuition to guide your shopping experiences. In this chapter you’ll learn how to use your intuition to transform those experiences. You’ll also learn how mindfulness and letting go can help the magic of intuition do its work.
Incredible intuition
We all have intuition. We’re born with it. It’s that part of us that is in touch with our highest good, a source of wisdom and guidance that we can tap into at any time. It’s always there, under the clutter and confusion of our thinking minds and feeling hearts.
But through the many challenges we face in our formative years, we can lose touch with this powerful force. Our intuition can become obscured by fear and other emotions; compulsive thoughts; or rigid beliefs about what we should and shouldn’t do. Many people have forgotten how to use it. Others can access it but can’t always bring themselves to act on it.
Take a look at your own life and ask yourself which areas are working well and which aren’t. Chances are you’re using intuition effortlessly in those aspects of your life that are successful and happy, but you feel blocked or compulsive in the areas where you can’t access it.
In my experience, one of the major roles of intuition is to help us discover who we are. Your intuition actually knows you better than you do, and in an instant is able to cut through the unconscious beliefs and emotional blocks that may be hobbling you. Learning how to shop intuitively is a safe and gradual way to experiment with this wonderful resource; once you learn to trust it, you can start incorporating it into other areas of your life. This is one of the bonuses of becoming an inspired shopper!
Shakti Gawain has written extensively on intuition and her books on the topic, in particular Living in the Light and Developing Intuition, provide valuable and detailed advice for accessing it. She firmly believes that our lives will be richer and more fulfilling if we get in touch with our intuition and let it influence all the decisions we make. Her ideas have greatly enhanced not only my shopping experiences, but my life in general.
In this book I variously refer to intuition as gut feeling; energy; and inner guidance, promptings, wisdom, voice or knowing.
Intuition and the unconscious mind
Some scientists believe that what we regard as intuition is simply the result of knowledge stored in our unconscious mind, or perceptions that are operating under our radar. Much of what is often called intuition can be attributed to these factors. Indeed, this is more or less the conclusion of Malcolm Gladwell in his bestselling book Blink.
Gladwell presents numerous examples of people from many walks of life who made split-second intuitive decisions that were uncannily accurate. While these decisions were made instantly, some were the result of decades of knowledge and experience; others seemed to come from pure instinct. Gladwell uses the term ‘thin slicing’ to describe the ability to access information instantly from a variety of sources and make split-second decisions based on that information.
Gladwell’s rationalist mode reveals something interesting. He goes on to explain that thin slicing can go terribly wrong – for example, when unconscious racism and sexism result in unjust and sometimes tragic decisions. But the cataclysmic decisions that Gladwell details so vividly were not made intuitively. Rather, they were guided by unseen motivations based on emotional rather than intuitive responses. True intuition allows us to go beyond our emotions, and is a force for good.
Furthermore, intuition sometimes seems to take into account external factors unknown at the time of the decision. Gawain has found that intuition ‘appears to be able to tap into a deep storehouse of knowledge and wisdom’. Intuitive counsellor Patricia Einstein describes it in the following way:
Think of this source as a bustling port on an ever-flowing river. The river flows through every town and village, connecting each one to the port. So, too, we each are connected to our intuitive source …
I’ve come to believe that intuition is always interacting with the world around us to help us towards greater fulfillment and growth. In this book I sometimes refer to ‘the universe’ to illustrate this dynamic; more spiritually inclined people may prefer to use the terms ‘God’ or ‘higher power’.
Please don’t think you need to be spiritually inclined to access and benefit from intuition. If you view your intuition as simply your own unconscious knowledge at work, it is still an incredibly powerful tool; for example, you might associate it with the creative right side of your brain as opposed to your more logical left side. Similarly, you might regard the gifts of the universe as simply the workings of a random cosmos. Even if you’re sceptical, why not experiment with your intuition and see what happens?
Accessing intuition
How do you get in touch with your intuition? What does it feel like?
When we follow intuition, we feel a sense of energy and aliveness. The results are also an indication: good and often unexpected things tend to happen as a result of intuitive actions.
To recognise what your intuition’s trying to tell you, you need to get to know how your own body and mind register intuitive responses. Begin by looking back on past events in which you experienced this force. Exercise 2a below shows you how to do this.
To learn how your body and mind manifest this force in the present, it’s a good idea to quieten your thinking brain, allow an inner stillness, and tune into your body. Regular meditation can help in cultivating intuition, but it’s not a prerequisite. Exercise 2b shows you how to tap into your intuition before making a simple decision.
An easy and fun way to start experiencing intuition is to present yourself with two alternatives where one is obviously wrong, and note how you feel when you ‘choose’ the wrong one. Exercise 2c describes how to conduct this simple experiment.
Everyone has their own way of experiencing intuition. I often feel a force or energy pushing me to do something, and a sense of lightness when I do it. When I’m in a shop and my intuition is at work, it seems as if the items that I need to buy are being drawn to me, or that they are ‘calling’ me (I use this term elsewhere in the book, and contrast it with feeling compelled to do something). This process is usually quite gentle, but it’s also very powerful.
One simple way to get in touch with your intuition when shopping, an especially useful method if you tend to make decisions based on purely rational considerations, is to put your hand on your stomach when you’re in the process of deciding whether to buy something. How does it feel when you decide to go ahead with the purchase? How does it feel when you don’t? In each scenario, is your stomach in agreement with the decision your head has made? Of course, this isn’t easy to do on the floor of a store, but you can try it in a changing room, when researching an item on the internet, or when completing an online purchase.
Give yourself time to learn how to tap into your intuition. Many people have been taught their whole lives to ignore this force, so it can take some time to uncover.
Twelve-step programs have a saying for members who are yet to feel the spiritual benefits of the program, or who are simply having an off day. These members are advised to ‘act as if’ – that is, do all the things they would do if they were feeling strong and supported; it’s really another way of saying ‘fake it till you make it’. When you’re first starting out with your intuition, it can take a while to become open to it, especially if you’re a particularly logical person. ‘Acting as if’ you trust your intuition – even if only for a set period of time – is a good exercise to try. Keep an open mind, try a few different exercises and be patient with yourself as you set out on this path.
Exercise 2a – Recalling an intuitive experience
Think back to a time when you acted on a hunch and your actions had a positive outcome. Write about this experience in your shopping journal. Describe the situation. Can you remember any bodily sensations that occurred while you were acting intuitively? What were the consequences of your actions, both short and long term?
Exercise 2b – Experiencing intuition
Do this exercise when you have to make a minor decision. It could be as basic as what you’re planning to have for dinner, what you’re going to wear out to a party, or which TV show or movie you want to watch. It does have to be a genuine choice, however – if you’re sure of the answer, it won’t work!
Find a quiet place where you can be still for a few minutes. Sit on a comfortable chair, or on a cushion with your back supported. Close your eyes. Take some slow, deep breaths and let your muscles go limp. Don’t think of anything in particular, but if thoughts and emotions come, just register them and let them go.
Now, in a relaxed way, start to consider your dilemma, and the options you’re trying to choose between. Focus your attention on the issue. Tune into your body. Adopt a passive, observant attitude to what’s going on. Allow some time to pass. Are there any images forming in your mind? Are you experiencing a sense of which direction you might want to go in? Is there an inner voice offering advice? What is happening in your body? Take as long as you need to complete this exercise, but around 10 minutes is a good time.
Afterwards, write about your experience. What happened? How did it feel? Did you feel clearer about your decision, or get a sense of a possible answer? How do you think your intuition shows itself?
Act on the decision, and note and write about the consequences.
Exercise 2c – Testing alternatives
Plan two alternative courses of action, with one course so obviously preferable to the other that you have no doubt which one to choose. This will depend on your own preferences, habits and weaknesses. Don’t include any options that are particularly tempting for you or that represent anything you’re seriously addicted to, and obviously avoid anything dangerous or injurious!
For example, if you like to eat healthily but you’re not out of control around food, you could try setting out for your afternoon snack a high-calorie cookie and also one of your favourite healthy snacks, eg almonds, a piece of cheese or an apple.
Prepare to take the undesirable option, and observe how it feels. Are you receiving warning signals, and if so, what form are they taking? Stop before you complete the action and change over to the better alternative. Observe what is happening with your energy. What do you feel? Where in your body do you feel it?
Describe your experiences of intuition in your shopping journal.
Learning to trust intuition
Although we experience intuitive feelings, intuition is not the same thing as emotions. In fact, sometimes your intuition can run counter to your emotions. One reason for this is that you may experience what are known as ‘racket’ emotions – feelings that are out of sync with your present experience because they stem from unresolved issues or experiences from the past. You don’t have to deny or repress your emotions, but it’s important not to act on them automatically. More about the difference between intuition and emotions can be found in Chapter 4.
Often intuitive feelings don’t make sense, and go against our beliefs or assumptions about what we should do. You may have experienced this without realising it. For example, perhaps you were getting ready for a social event and instinctively felt that you needed to rush although you thought you had plenty of time. Then something unexpected happened – you received a call from a friend who desperately needed to talk, or the dog ate the chocolate mud cake sitting on the kitchen bench and you had to rush to the shops to buy a substitute. Suddenly, the extra time you’d put aside was vital. Alternatively, for some reason you decided not to take a particular road home from a meeting one evening, and heard the next day that there was a terrible accident on it.
Of course, sometimes we never know why our intuition sends us in a particular direction. There is no need to, although it’s tempting to speculate. But when shopping, we sometimes do find out. I’ve often pulled from the racks a piece of clothing to try on, only to find myself sensing intuitively that it wasn’t for me, and later discovering something similar but more suitable elsewhere and at a better price. And I’ve bought clothes despite my intuitive sense – clothes that were never the same after the first wash, didn’t go with any of my other clothes, or looked completely wrong when I tried them on again at home.
The beauty of intuition is that it can sometimes be way ahead of both our thoughts and emotions, and can lead us in new directions. Once, before I became an inspired shopper, I walked into a favourite fashion store and spotted a skirt that at first glance looked completely wrong for me. It was calf length, had a colourful pink-and-white floral print and was made of a clingy material – not my thing at all. But something drew me towards it.
I finally got around to trying it on and immediately experienced a ‘zingy’ feeling – a sense of lightness, excitement and permission. (I now know that this feeling occurs when I should buy something.) Despite my doubts I managed to obey these inner promptings and buy the skirt; it was soon joined by a shiny, figure-hugging burgundy shirt that complemented it perfectly. Over time I got an incredible amount of wear out of both items. Yet the skirt was way ahead of my idea of what was suitable and somehow safe for me to wear at the time. I had to be gently guided to it by my deepest self.
In fact, when you make a decision based on intuition you’re doing a truly wonderful thing. Simply, you’re taking into account a great number of factors in your life that you’re not necessarily aware of. Intuition has the knack of cutting directly to the chase, with every aspect of your life magically included in the equation.
This doesn’t mean that the universe, combined with your intuition, will cook up a Hermes bag for you for the price of a wallet from Target. What it does mean is that it will take into account all your circumstances and come up with the optimum solution.
Intuition isn’t abstract. It relies on you being present in the moment, using all your faculties. It would be foolish to walk into a store and buy the first vacuum cleaner that felt right. On the other hand, it could be very useful to use that initial feeling as a guide for your research on vacuum cleaners, leading that research in a particular direction. You might end up where you started – back at the first vacuum cleaner you liked – or you might not. Follow your nose but also use your brain.
When starting to use intuition, try to be flexible. Going with the flow, which is another way to describe acting intuitively, means you may have to let go of some of your plans when shopping. Don’t try to do everything on your shopping list if you have a strong sense that you’ve had enough – when you review the situation later, you’ll probably find that everything worked out for the best and you made optimum use of your time.
When you’re just starting to use your intuition as a shopper, a small shopping find can help create confidence. The story below occurred early in my time as an inspired shopper, and showed me I was on the right track.
Real-life story: A small victory that sparked a big change
As I strolled past the store that sold furniture and decorator goods from around the globe, the window display caught my eye. It featured a number of items for setting a table, including a simple runner with a red SALE sticker on it. The runner was made up of narrow strips of wood with flecks of black stitching. Although it wasn’t particularly eye-catching on its own, I liked it immediately.
I stared at it for a few seconds; I’d just bought a retro secondhand table and had been planning to buy a runner for it. But it seemed wrong to buy the first one that caught my eye. And I couldn’t be sure this runner would match the table until I’d bought it. I always experienced this dilemma when buying decorator items for my home – how to be sure the item would match the furniture or room it was intended for? I started walking again but felt a strong inner force drawing me back towards the window.
I entered the store and asked to see the runner. The saleswoman had a hard time finding a runner that matched the one on display and I used that time to ensure that I really felt like buying it. Once she’d placed it in my hands, I gave myself time to inspect it and think about whether I really wanted it. As I waited for the saleswoman to complete the sale, I felt the energy of intuition telling me I’d made the right decision.
When I got the runner home I laid it out on my table. The light in the dining room set off its low-key design perfectly, and it was an almost uncanny match for the table. I set a smoky blue vase on it and the effect was complete – and still lifts me whenever I walk into the room.
Decision making and ‘mistakes’
Many of us find it difficult to make decisions. According to some schools of thought, if you want to become effective at decision making, you have to let go of the need to make the right decision.
It’s true that if you don’t let go to some extent, you’ll be too paralysed to do anything. But to make the best decision possible at any one time, you need to use all your inner resources. This means using intuition along with emotional feedback, common sense and research. If you only apply the logical or emotional part of your brain you’re cutting yourself off from your own inner wisdom.
However, it’s important to let yourself make ‘mistakes’ when discovering how your intuition works. If you want to learn anything new, mistakes are not simply inevitable; they’re an important part of the learning process. The main thing is to have a go and try not to be too hung up on getting it right. Buying something that you don’t end up using can be a learning experience that guides you to a better choice next time – see the section on dealing with shopping ‘mistakes’ in Chapter 5. The point is to try to use all the faculties at your disposal at any one time.
Marvellous mindfulness
The practice of mindfulness, originally developed by Buddhist thinkers thousands of years ago, is the second major principle of Inspired Shopping. Mindfulness is now recognised by mainstream health professionals as an effective drug-free treatment for a huge range of ailments from clinical anxiety, depression and self-harm to chronic pain. Practising mindfulness while shopping can be incredibly empowering because shopping environments often encourage us to be anything but mindful. Mindfulness is linked to intuition – it can help you reach a level of calm and relaxation that makes it easier to tap into your intuition.
Mindfulness simply means staying aware of what is going on for us both internally and externally, but not getting involved in it. We notice various thoughts, emotions and sense perceptions such as sights, sounds and smells, but don’t buy into or dwell on them. We stay aware of how we’re feeling but don’t become self-obsessed or caught up in a particular mental event. We tune into our bodies. We focus on the present rather than the past or future. If necessary, we keep ourselves in the present by focusing on our breathing.
The basis of mindfulness is being aware of what Joanne Dahl and Tobias Lundgren call the ‘observer self’. The observer self is always there, a witness to whatever is happening to us. In mindfulness we consciously ‘step into the position of the observer self’. We let our consciousness alight on each experience, note it and then move on to the next one. Some people find it useful to think of the observer self as a gatekeeper, letting all the mental and physical experiences through the gate but staying at the gate rather than following them.
When we stop being in the present, which will inevitably happen sooner or later, the last thing we should do is berate ourselves. Not being able to maintain the process is, in fact, part of the process. We simply note with our observer self that our attention has wandered and bring it back to the present.
Mindfulness is extremely useful in shopping malls and busy shopping strips, where it’s hard not to pick up on the frenzied energy of other people and our senses are being stimulated at every turn. It’s also extremely useful when hypnotised by the magnetic images on shopping websites, and the convenience of shopping apps.
Mindfulness won’t help us avoid our feelings, such as the fear of missing out, or the desire to buy those pale blue flares in the lightweight denim that hangs so gracefully; instead, it gives us a chance to be aware of those feelings, step back from them, and decide whether to act on them or let them go. It helps us to avoid acting on our first impulses (which may be anything but intuitive!). And it enables us to tune into what we really need to do, such as stop and have a break at a cafe; go home; venture into an unfamiliar lane, arcade or store; or close the browser or app.
Mindfulness is totally non-judgemental, which is especially important if you’re just starting out as an inspired shopper. If you’re concerned that you spend too much time at the shops, for example, or that you buy too much stuff, you could start by just gently observing your behaviour, as well as the feelings and perceptions that go along with it.
What is going on for you when you make an impulse buy? What happens in the minutes before you use your credit card to buy something you don’t really need? And what are the positive things about the way you shop? What were your perceptions at the time you bought that incredible pair of stonewashed skinnies that have remained fashionable and in reasonable shape over three seasons? Mindfulness can help you understand what motivates you to shop the way you do, which is the first step to changing it.
The exercises below are a guide to practising mindfulness while you shop. However, it could be challenging to do this for the first time in a crowded mall. One option is to adapt Exercise 2d and practise it a few times at home first of all, while doing a simple task like washing the dishes, weeding the garden or brushing your teeth (if you do this, focus on all your sense impressions, such as the feel of the toothpaste on your tongue, your hands in the earth, and the wind in your hair).
You could then extend the exercise to something more externalised but less frenetic than shopping, such as jogging or walking the dog in the park, before trying it at a shopping centre.
You may be concerned that practising mindfulness will slow you down – in fact the more grounded you are, the more efficient you’ll be. There’s no need to confine mindfulness to shopping; use it throughout the day to stay grounded and in the present.
Exercise 2d – Mindfulness at the shopping centre
Go to one of your favourite shopping centres when you’re in the mood for browsing, or when you need to buy something that doesn’t require a decision, such as your usual hair conditioner. If you can, choose a time that is relatively quiet.
Walk around and tune into your inner self. Feel the soles of your feet on the ground. Breathe slowly and calmly, through your nose if possible. Feel your arms swing as you walk. Notice any other bodily perceptions you’re experiencing.
Now tune into how you’re feeling. Do you feel tired, frazzled, stressed? Energetic, enthusiastic, excited? Peaceful, relaxed, laid back? Observe your feelings in a detached way rather than buying into them.
Now tune into your thoughts. What kinds of thoughts are you having? Let the thoughts come and go freely. Don’t stay with any particular thought.
Notice the goods and people that you pass but don’t linger on anything. What are the colours and shapes that attract you? What is it that stands out about the people you see? Note these details and let them go. Let them all be passing impressions.
Now become aware of the smells around you. What can you smell? Are these smells pleasant or unpleasant? Note the various smells and let them go.