BANI - LIKE A PRAYER
By,
Kevin A. Carey-Infante
©2011
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locale or organizations is entirely coincidental.
©2011 by Kevin A. Carey-Infante. All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4524-6879-2
License Notes
This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of the author.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.
PROLOGUE
Hi again! It's me, Bani! Did you miss me? I sure missed you! I've been rather busy since we were last together. As you will recall my new friend, and yes, my former bullier, Phillip, was going through a tough time. His father had just been arrested for rape, domestic violence, arson and murder to name just a few of the charges levied against him. If you're even a little bit curious read Bani Finds Her Something. Oh, and while I'm doing some shameless promoting, check out my blog. I call it Bani's Rants. You can find it at http://kcareyinfante.wordpress.com. I have to warn you though: being an out lesbian and self-professed rebel I have a lot to say, and some of you aren't going to like it.
Before I forget, I've gotten countless questions about my complicated name, and what it means. It's pronounced just like Bonnie, as in my Bonnie lies over the ocean—see, not so complicated. So the story goes, when mom was pregnant with me she and dad took a vacation to India. They visited the Taj Mahal, best known not only as one of the most beautiful buildings in the world, but also a symbol of eternal love. Mom and dad decided to take one of those guided tours so that they could get the full flavor of it. The tour guide's name was none other than Bani. Mom, ever the inquisitive one, asked about the origin of the name. Bani explained to her that it was Sanskrit and it meant Music of Love. The rest is history, although, I've got to tell you that I can't carry a tune to save my life.
As most of you know, as a former victim of bullying I have made it my mission to make it better right now. I know, and I really do hear you. It's a whole lot tougher than it sounds—but a girl can dream, can't she? With that mission in mind, my dads treated me to a state-of-the-art, top-of-the-line computer for my birthday. It's tomorrow, July 27, 2011. I'll be 16-years old. Now if they would only let me have a cell phone, like every other kid at school—but I digress.
One more thing before I tell you about a young man who felt it necessary to attempt to kill himself as his only way to stop the bullying. After hearing his story I decided to set-up a Facebook page because I have quickly come to realize that social media is the best way to talk to people in real time. I would love it if you guys would friend me at Bani Chamberlain. If any of you have a bullying or abuse story you would like to share than please send me a message. Who knows, perhaps I'll feature it in one of my novelettes so that we can help others who might be struggling with that very same issue.
CHAPTER ONE
As if my week hadn't been horrible enough with all of the business with Phillip's father, it was about to get much worse, if that were even possible. I was called down to the principal's office right in the middle of a review for the biggest history test of the year. I was pretty annoyed thinking that it had something to do with picking up Phillip's homework. Mrs. Gosnay could have waited until the end of class or my lunch period, but no, she had to pull me out of class. I mean there was already a lot of whispering and speculation going on. Word had quickly gotten out that Phillip and his mother were staying at my grandma's condo after their father had torched their house and burned it to the ground. Some of Phillip's boys had been questioning him about his friendship with the girl he used to call such hateful things as carpet muncher and dyke. Now they wanted to know what the deal was, and if they could still trust their exalted leader. I just hoped they wouldn't find out that Grandma Granderson wasn't my real grandma, but my father's boyfriend's mother. Not that I wasn't proud of my father and Adrian. It's just that it was none of those homophobic assholes business, and I had no doubt it would further damage Phillip's already fragile reputation, which would really be bad for his confidence right now.
When I got to the administrative wing of PS 179 I was immediately ushered into Mrs. Gosnay's office. I should have guessed that something big was up by the overly concerned looks on all of the faces of the administrative type's faces.
The conversation started innocently enough with her asking how I was doing; how Phillip was handling all the stuff going on with his father; blah, blah, blah. She was quickly getting on my nerves. I mean she was pacing all over her office blathering on and on about nothing.
"Look," I finally stopped her. "I doubt you pulled me out of a history test review to make small talk. So tell me what's up so I can get back to class."
"You're right. Please sit down," she nervously requested.
As I sat in the over-sized puke green leather chair, she said, still fidgeting and pacing like a caged animal, "I heard about the incident in the schoolyard."
"Which one?" I furrowed my brow. There seemed to be so many lately.
"There was more than one?" She sounded surprised.
"There are a lot of kids in this school. Lot's of stuff happens," I shrugged.
There was a rather long, pregnant pause while she digested this simple little fact.
"The one last Friday. The one involving Ryan Kelly."
Ryan was one of those kids who was a constant target of Phillip and his boys. He's short, scrawny, nerdy, and wears Harry Potter-esque glasses, complete with tape on the bridge of the nose to hold them together. He usually carries a bible with him and his affectations are, shall we say, on the effeminate side, not that that's a bad thing. Of course I was aware of the incident. It, after all, was the one that triggered my involvement with Phillip and his secrets.
"Oh yeah," I sighed. "He was being bullied by some of the kids. I'd had enough so I stepped in and put a stop to it."
"Do you mind telling me what happened and why?"
She actually looked like she cared.
"What's to tell? A bunch of thugs—idiots really—were giving him a hard time, calling him names, stuff like that. I just decided that enough was enough. That's it."
"Can you tell me exactly what was said?" she pushed.
"You know. The usual stuff," I tried to evade the question.
"No. I don't know," she pressed.
"Why are the exact words so important to you?" I pushed back, not wanting to verbalize such hateful rhetoric, especially to an adult who probably wouldn't get it anyway.
"It's very important," she soberly said, leaning over her desk, peering eerily into my eyes.
What the fuck? The woman was giving me the creeps.
"Okay, okay. But it's not pretty. In fact, it's pretty ugly."
"I'm sure it is, but I need to know so that I can decide what to do about it."
"What to do about it?" I muttered under my breath.
"Please, Bani," she implored impatiently.
"Well," I hesitated. "Since Ryan is, ya know, a quiet little guy, everyone assumes that he's gay. Whether he is or not doesn't really matter, and they call him names."
"Like?"
"Faggot, cocksucker, fudge packer," I heard myself blurt out.
She cringed and fell back in her seat, her Adam's apple bobbing up and down like a turkey, as she kept swallowing to keep her own bile from choking her.
"What makes it worse," I continued, now that I figured I had nothing to loose, "is that he always starts to cry, and when he tries to run, they block his way and push him back into the circle and they continue to taunt him."
"Oh my God," she gasped, beads of sweat rolling down her forehead and into her eyes. "I had no idea things were that bad."
"Yeah well, you people in your comfy little world choose to turn your backs on us and pretend everything is fine," I jabbed.
She put her head down, knowing how guilty she and the rest of them were.
"So why do you finally feel the need to get involved?" I growled, gritting my teeth.
"Bani, something terrible has happened." Her lips began to quiver and she turned stone white.
"What?" I impatiently squirmed in my seat.
"It's Ryan."
"Did someone hurt him? Who was it? I'll kill him!" I couldn't stop ranting. I was sounding just like my father.
"No one hurt him, although after what you just told me, they might as well have."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"Ryan attempted to commit suicide last night." She began to sob, tears rolling down her face.
It was my turn to slam back in my chair. Feeling a fire building inside of me I jumped up and began pacing around the office.
"Attempted? So he's still alive?"
Mrs. Gosnay suddenly had me in a bear hug.
"Calm down," she kept saying, stroking my short hair.
"How bad is it?" I finally asked.
"The doctors say that he's going to be okay, at least physically. They'll be evaluating his mental capacity over the next couple of days."
She lead me back to the chair, then pulled another one up next to mine and put her hands in mine. Even though she was shaking as much as I was, her grip was warm and gentle.
"What happened?" I asked.
"According to Ryan's mother, when he got home from school yesterday he went right up to his room without even saying hello to her."
"My father would be all over me if I ignored him when I walked in the door," I pouted.
"She told me that although she now regrets that decision, she thought it would be best to leave it to God."
"What? Are you kidding me?"
"Now, Bani! We're not here to judge people."
My insides felt as if they were ripping apart, a knot of nausea working its way through my stomach.
"So instead of praying away his problems, he chose to take his own life," I stated the obvious.
"Yes. Apparently he decided to take the remainder of his mother's zanax."
"Which I'm sure she left out for anybody who happened to need one or two or more."
"They were in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom."
"Adults can be so stupid!" I was so angry that I could spit nails.
"When his mother finally went up to check on him she found him lying in his bed, the empty bottle of zanax and a note beside him."
"What did the bitch do? Pray about it before she called 911?"
"Bani!"
"I'm sorry. It's just that people are so ignorant."
"I'm not going to argue with, but I wish you wouldn't judge people without knowing them."
Amazingly it appeared, at least in my mind, that Mrs. Gosnay was agreeing with me, despite her admonition.
"How bad is it?" I asked fearing the worst, even though she had already assured me that he was going to be okay.
"There were only 6 pills left in the bottle, so there was no physical damage to speak of."
"I guess that's something." A rush of relief spilled over me.
She then handed me a piece of paper and said, "Here's the information where your friend is. I checked and his mother said it would be okay if you went and visited him."
"My friend? I barely knew him." I was totally bewildered.
"Really? But he specifically asked for you." She looked more baffled than I was. "Why don't you honor his request anyway? What could it hurt? It might even do him some good."
"What about his asshole mother?" I asked without apology. She knew better than to challenge me at that moment.
"Like I told you, his parents have given their permission for you to visit."
"If it'll make him feel better, than sure, I'll go."
We both smiled for the first time since the meeting had begun.
"Thank you." She hesitated a second, than asked, "Can you do me a big favor?"
"It depends," I replied, studying the uncomfortable look on her face.
"I know I have no right to ask this of you but can you wear something nice?"
"Are you serious?" I felt the air suddenly rush out of my lungs.
"Ryan's parents are very conservative. I'm just afraid they'll prejudge you, and prevent you from seeing him."
Although it completely pissed me off I knew that she was right.
"And, Bani—please know that I want to make things right."
"Yeah," I sighed. "I just hope we're not too late."
"I hope so too," she weakly replied.
CHAPTER TWO
Mrs. Gosnay gave me the rest of the day off—not that I could have concentrated much on school. As soon as I got home I called Adrian. He was in a meeting, as usual, so I left a voicemail asking him if he could come home early from work that I needed to talk to him. I was intentionally vague because I knew it was the only way I was going to get his attention.
The tactic worked. Twenty minutes later he walked through the front door, unfortunately with dad in tow. They were both out of breath, as if they had run all the way home from their office about seven blocks away.
"What's wrong?" Dad ran over to where I was sitting on the couch. He checked my forehead for a fever with the back of his hand like he knew what he was feeling for—not!
"I'm fine!" I tried to worm away from his probing clutches.
"You scared the crap out of us! What's going on? Did you get suspended? Expelled? Why are you home from school so early?"
"Christ, daddy. Now you're sounding like mom!"
"Hey! What have I told you about that language and your mother, young lady!" he reprimanded me as he usually does when I bad-mouth the woman I hate the most in my life—my mother.
"How can we help you?" Adrian calmly asked, trying to ease the tension in the room.
"I just needed some advise before I went to the hospital."
"Oh my God! What's wrong with you? Are you pregnant? You're not pregnant are you?"
Dad was completely losing it!
"I'm a lesbian! I can't get pregnant!"
"That's enough out of both of you!" Adrian snapped, separating the two of us. "Sean, please, give your daughter some space and let her explain what's going on before you fly off the handle."
I waited for dad to back down before I began again.
"There's this guy at school. His name is Ryan—"
"Who's Ryan? Did you get into another fight? I thought you were done with that?"
Dad was a mess.
"Sean!" Adrian warned.
"Now you know why I called Adrian and not you!" I couldn't help myself.
"Okay, okay! I surrender. I'm just concerned about my little girl."
Both Adrian and I rolled our eyes. Dad was dad and he was never going to change.
"So tell us about Ryan," Adrian said as we sat around the dining room table.
For the next several minutes I relayed everything Mrs. Gosnay had told me, including details of the bullying incident in question, telling them that it was the very same incident that brought Phillip into our lives. To dad's credit, even though he was squirming in his seat, he kept his mouth shut until he was sure I was finished.
"Wow. I'm really sorry for your friend, honey," he finally whispered.
"That's just it. He's not my friend. We've never had a single conversation."