Special Smashwords Edition
13 Things Rock and Roll Can Do for You…
Advice for Leaders and Everyone Else: At Home and at Work
by
Frederic Gratto
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13 Things Rock and Roll Can Do
for You…
Special
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2011 Frederic Gratto All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without the express written permission of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.
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Cover art Copyright ©2011 Bryan Todd
Published by Telemachus Press, LLC at Smashwords
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ISBN# 978-1-937387-34-1 (eBook)
ISBN# 978-1-937387-35-8 (paperback)
Version 2012.03.07
Acknowledgements
To write this book, I had to get by with a little help from my friends. Elvis Presley and Jimi Hendrix weren’t available so my friend, Robbie Vorhaus, gave me lots of advice. Garrett Jones and Marie Shue read and edited the manuscript. With their input, it became new and improved every time they touched it.
My Dad should get a big thank you and so should my Grandmother. I wish they were still here to see how I have shared their wisdom that rubbed off on me through the years. My wife, Kathy, has long impacted my thinking; her stellar example has changed my life and showed up on these pages. So, I want to thank her for being such a good role model. Thank you also, to Marty Werts, my friend, who stopped by my office many Monday mornings to inquire about the book’s progress. Thanks to my children as well because they have tolerated my addiction to rock and roll music, as well as my bad singing through the years.
I also appreciate the guidance of Steve Jackson and Alan Kaufman whose expertise and encouragement kept me focused and pointed in the right direction for the green light on this project.
About The Author
Dr. Fred Gratto and his team manage the campus environment at the University of Florida. He also teaches classes about leadership and facilities management and speaks at national conferences about these topics. He and his wife live in Gainesville, Florida, have four grown children and eight grandchildren. He loves biking, hiking and rock and roll.
Chapter 1 How Much Money Do You Need?
Chapter 2 What’s In Your Heart?
Chapter 3 Everybody Needs a Dad.
Chapter 4 Friends Are Golden.
Chapter 5 If You Love Someone, They Should Know It.
Chapter 6 You Are What You Eat.
Chapter 7 Take Your Job and Love It.
Chapter 8 Look at All These Seashells I Collected.
Chapter 9 Made Any Good Investments Lately?
Chapter 10 What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?
Chapter 11 Everything Has An Expiration Date.
Chapter 12 Hi, How’s It Going?
Chapter 13 The Clock is Ticking.
“Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?”…The Beatles, Paperback Writer
Prologue
What do you expect from yourself? Why do you do the things you do? Why are you the way you are? These are interesting questions because every one of us is trying to accomplish something and perhaps struggling a little bit to figure things out as we proceed through life. We’re trying to reach goals, do the right things and live according to the values that guide us. These are not easy things to handle in our topsy-turvy world, full of peer pressure, tantalizing distractions, and unlimited choices. So, that’s what this book is about, asking important questions and trying to make good choices. These are worthwhile things to do because life has its difficult moments. None of us can avoid any of life’s potholes or get too far down the road toward success without sage advice and reliable information. Fortunately, these are not hard to find. One day, it occurred to me that I learned many life lessons by just listening to the radio.
Once upon a time, I flew to Phoenix to meet my brother, John, for a short hiking and biking guy vacation. I was feeling frisky so I rented a convertible for the drive up to Flagstaff. I was, “on a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, warm smell of colitis, rising up through the air”…Eagles, Hotel California. Actually, I don’t know what colitis is. Maybe the guy who had the car before me smoked a cigar. Maybe that’s what I smelled. Anyway, I was really enjoying the moment until I became hopelessly lost. When I finally found where John was staying, we shared a big hug and I commented about the confusing directions.
The next morning we jumped in the car to go hiking at the Grand Canyon. Within seconds, he spotted a gadget on the console and poked a little fun at me. “Fred, you deserved to get lost, there’s a GPS right here. You had everything you needed, right at your fingertips!” I hadn’t noticed the darn thing in the dark the night before and felt like a dummy so I turned on the radio to change the subject. As we cruised along, some of the great tunes made me think that just like a GPS, rock and roll can lead us along life’s path. Some of the lyrics are etched in my mind and maybe in yours as well. They are right at our fingertips, easy to retrieve and put to good use, “Music is a world within itself, with a language we all understand”…Stevie Wonder, Sir Duke. For example, consider these words from Dobie Gray in his song Drift Away and feel the power of rock and roll, “I wanna get lost in your rock n roll. The guitar’s comin’ through.” These little gems apply to my life and maybe you can appreciate them as well, so let’s take a look.
• I wanna get lost in your rock n roll. I feel like this a lot and maybe you do too. I love getting lost in rock and roll, “When I hear that old song they used to play I begin dreaming”…Boston, More Than a Feeling. I do a lot of dreaming. With my iPod, I can walk on the beach, sit by the pool or mow the lawn and drift away to the 1970s or 1980s or any other era. Rock and Roll is like a time machine, or maybe like magic. “Do you believe in magic in a young girl’s heart, how the music can free her, whenever it starts”…The Lovin’ Spoonful, Do You Believe in Magic. Listening to music is soothing and helps me remember things and friends and recall what was going on in the world at a particular time, years ago.
Hearing Ohio by Crosby, Still, Nash, and Young, for example, reminds me of the turbulent Viet Nam era and the tragedy at Kent State University in May 1970. You may recall that the National Guard shot into a group of students who were protesting the war and four students were killed. Whenever I hear Ohio, for a few minutes in my mind, I’m thinking and feeling like I did then and remembering what it was like to be a college student. All of a sudden, I’m young again, “I remember when rock was young. Me and Suzie had so much fun”…Elton John, Crocodile Rock. The trip down memory lane feels good and makes me smile, “A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to make me smile”…Don Mclean, American Pie. Hmm, a time machine for time travel, do we have one? We sure do, it’s called rock and roll.
Some music makes me happy but some has the opposite effect on me. Hearing Harry Chapin’s Cats in the Cradle used to make my eyes watery because I was so busy trying earning a living. So, to put a little pressure on myself, I framed the lyrics and put them on the dresser in my bedroom. I did a lot better job as a dad after that. The reminder is still there and now it keeps me focused on my grandchildren. Harry’s words changed my life. So did these from James Taylor, in his song How Sweet It Is, “I just want to stop and thank you baby. How sweet it is to be loved by you.” I say these words to my wife almost every day and I’m sure she never gets tired of hearing them. Music has inspired me to be wiser and, in my mind, music enables me to transcend time. For me, that’s a pretty special treat.
• The guitar’s comin’ through. There are a lot of great things in life that I don’t even notice because I’m just not paying attention. Lots of things don’t appear on my radar screen. But, since I love and appreciate music, great guitar riffs like the one by Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin in Stairway to Heaven always amaze me. He can really make those strings sing! How does he do it? How can anybody do that with a guitar? Isn’t it just a bunch of stretched strings? Well, no, there is a lot more to it than that. There’s a reason musicians are called artists because, just like pitchers in professional baseball or architects or surgeons, not everybody can do what they can do.
Music is almost like one of the Seven Wonders of the World and we love it, gotta have it, can’t do without it. Certainly, TimeLife Music believes this. If you have watched television in the past several years, you probably noticed their advertisements for every flavor of golden oldies. I have and here’s what I say, “I love rock n’ roll so put another dime in the jukebox, baby”…Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, I Love Rock N’ Roll.
Admit it. You know you love hearing a good tune. You probably turn on the radio as soon as you get in your car. I do, and rock and roll is what I’m looking for because it’s still my favorite. I think it offers something for everyone. Listening to it is a pleasure and sometimes I daydream that I’m playing lead guitar. And the tunes, they just make me tap my feet and smile and this is a good thing because, “What the people need is a way to make ‘em smile”…The Doobie Brothers, Listen to the Music. If we pay attention to the lyrics, there is a message coming through, and it can be of help by reminding us or encouraging us about something. “All I try to do is write music that feels meaningful to me, that has a commitment and passion behind it… If what I’m writing about is real, and if there’s emotion, then, hey, there’ll be somebody who wants to hear it” – Bruce Springsteen. Here’s what I think, “Nothin’s gonna help you more than rock ‘n’ roll”…Boston, Feelin’ Satisfied.
Even though people are all so different, it seems to me that we are also so alike. I think we all want the same three things in life: to be loved, to be respected, and we want the opportunity to do something that matters. For advice about these, visit any bookstore and you’ll soon notice many self-help books on the shelves. They’re there because lots of people need help with life. Most of the books are great, I’m sure, but I haven’t read many of them because I got most of my advice from rock and roll. I’m convinced that music can help with the really important things in life, believe it or not. Some of the songs that we have heard over and over again for many years are etched in our memories but maybe we didn’t notice what we were hearing. Maybe the good stuff just didn’t sink in.
Usually, it’s the beat that catches our attention and we often don’t hear or understand the lyrics. Perhaps you missed some good advice because you didn’t quite catch the words. For example, you may have heard, “There’s a bathroom on the right.” Actually, Creedence Clearwater Revival sang, “There’s a bad moon on the rise”…Bad Moon Rising. Perhaps you were puzzled when Billy Joel sang, “It’s better than drinking cologne.” That’s because what he really sang is, “It’s better than drinking alone”…Piano Man. And what about, “Another one rides the bus?” Queen didn’t mention anything about a bus. Freddie Mercury told us, “Another one bites the dust”…Another One Bites the Dust. Maybe you heard, “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not.” This may be an interesting notion but what Bon Jovi really said is, “It doesn’t matter if we make it or not”…Living On A Prayer. And pizza, The Rolling Stones never mentioned this delicious stuff. You may have heard, “I’ll never leave your pizza burning” but Mick Jagger actually sang, “I’ll never be your beast of burden”…Beast of Burden.
Life can be tricky. Sometimes I do things I don’t want to do and don’t do things I know I should do. I wonder, “Why in the world did I eat that second piece of pie?” or “Why in the world didn’t I stop to help that guy with his flat tire?” I don’t understand my own behavior sometimes but I should because I’m certainly old enough to know better. But you know what? There will be more opportunities tomorrow to do the right thing and rock and roll can help me…and you. You’ll see. “B-B-B-Baby, you just ain’t seen nothin’ yet”…Bachman Turner Overdrive, You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet.
If you listen closely, many of the most memorable songs offer advice, both good and bad. Either way, we can learn from them. Positive examples are helpful to have around and negative examples can help, as well. There were plenty of negative examples for me in high school along with lots of things that confused me like physics and other subjects I couldn’t figure out. In fact, “When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school it’s a wonder I can think at all”…Paul Simon, Kodacrome. So, it’s a good thing most of that stuff has faded away and been replaced by a bit of wisdom acquired over many years. I learned a few life skills and healthy perspectives about important things by just listening to rock and roll. Billy Joel, Marvin Gaye, Tom Petty, Aretha Franklin and lots of other musicians have plenty of wisdom and deserve more credit than we might have thought. The soundtrack of your life is fun to listen to and it has some nuggets of wisdom to help you. So, “Let me tell you all about it now”…Free, All Right Now. As I share with you some of the very practical things I’ve learned, get ready for some good vibrations. I hope you enjoy the trip down memory lane and that it challenges you to think about some of the important things in life.
13 Things Rock and Roll Can Do for You…
Advice for Leaders and Everyone Else: At Home and at Work
“I want money, lots and lots of money…I wanna be rich”… Calloway, I Want To Be Rich
Chapter 1. How Much Money Do You Need?
I was walking on the University of Florida campus recently when I noticed a former student of mine. Since he recognized me also, we joined strides and talked for a while. Before long, we decided to stop at a nearby hamburger joint for a quick lunch. We both had cheeseburgers. I only had one because that’s all I could eat and probably all I could afford that day. He only had one, as well, but he probably could have eaten a couple more since he’s a pretty big man. He certainly could have afforded a hundred, since he plays in the National Football League for a team in California, but that wouldn’t have done him any good. As we were eating, I asked him what was going on in his life. Since the west is so scenic, I was especially interested to know if he had traveled much, had he been to the Grand Canyon, for instance. “No, too far,” he said. Well, what about Yosemite National Park, closer to home? He said he might go someday. What about the redwoods, had he seen the redwoods? “No, never occurred to me,” he said. But, I have seen the redwoods. I drove out there a few years ago and they are incredible. I just don’t know why those trees were planted so far from the interstate. Anyway, since he hadn’t done any sightseeing, I asked my old friend what he was doing with all his money. “Not much,” he said, “but I do have a car and an apartment.” Got a wife, married yet? “No,” he said, “I haven’t had time.” Not enough time! So I asked him what he was doing with all his time. “Just practicing, watching film, eating, and going to team meetings.” Wow, all that money and no time to spend it and nobody to share it with.
So, why was he in town, I inquired. His mom died and he came back to Florida to attend the funeral. After a while, we said goodbye and it occurred to me that even though he is in a different income bracket than I am, he’s really not that much different. He’s limited by his body, just like I am. Even though he can do great things on the football field, he is limited by how much he can eat, same as I am. And regarding time constraints, it seems like he has even less free time than I do. And his mom, she died. It’s pretty clear to me that we all have the same problems and challenges. They’re just packaged a little differently and come in different sizes for every one of us. As a young man I didn’t understand this but I do now. I know that if you want to be rich, just count all the things money can’t buy. “Believe in all the good things that money just can’t buy”…Aerosmith, Eat the Rich. Things like health and friendship come to mind. Money can’t buy you love either.
I’ve concluded that it doesn’t matter how much money somebody else has. There are lots of things going on in everybody’s life and money is just one of them so there really is no reason to think somebody else’s grass is greener. Most likely it’s not and even if it is, the water bill is surely a lot higher over there. It’s surely a lot higher in Beverly Hills, for example, but that didn’t discourage the guys in Weezer, “That’s where I want to be, livin’ in Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills, rolling like a celebrity”…Beverly Hills. As near as I can tell, celebrities have more than their share of good times and advantages. But, they also have the same challenges as everybody else, like trying to be happy and healthy. They also grow old like the rest of us, so there’s no reason to be envious of them. Despite different income levels, we’re all the same. Life is the great equalizer. There’s no need to fret because you don’t have enough time to do all the things you want to do or enough money to buy all the things you want to have.
“Don’t be fooled by the radio the TV or the magazines. They show you photographs of how your life should be but they’re just someone else’s fantasy”…Styx, The Grand Illusion. But, it doesn’t seem to matter if we realize this or not. Most of us are still thinking, “Hey, don’t take what I have. Give me more. I want more.” Most of us still want more, more, more. Well, how much more? More than we need, apparently. According to The Grateful Dead, “Too much of everything is just enough”…I Need a Miracle. Why? How? Where would you put it? These are really practical questions, especially for those of us who live in Florida because we don’t have basements in our homes. We don’t have enough places to put all our stuff. In one of his classic songs Moving Out, Billy Joel, a really great song writer, provided a little bit of sarcastic wit about always striving for bigger and better things, “Mama, if that’s movin’ up then I’m movin’ out.” No doubt about it, “We are spirits in the material world”…Police, Spirits In The Material World.
Several years ago when our oldest daughter was in high school, she went to the county fair with her boyfriend. At the midway, she coaxed him into throwing a ball at a target so he could win a big blue stuffed bear. I mean big. It was a big bear. She just had to have it. Well, he threw a strike and hit the target so he got the prize. What a treat, for the rest of the evening, he got to carry around a big blue bear almost as big as he was. This probably wasn’t very convenient if he was trying to hold his girlfriend’s hand, or maybe buy a corn dog. His possession had become a burden, not unlike some that you and I have, perhaps. Anyway, Melissa kept the big blue bear in her room for months and months but as time went by, she became less and less interested in it. Contributing to her paradigm change was the fact that it was always in the way, taking up too much space because it was so big. One day when I came home from work it was in the garage. As we shared the evening meal, she asked me to put it in the attic, which I did. A few years ago, when I went up there to get Christmas decorations, I noticed the blue bear because it was in my way, so I asked Melissa about it. Her response, “Oh, just throw it out.” She didn’t care about it anymore. She had too much stuff. Likewise, many of us can’t put our car in the garage because it’s so cluttered. In fact, we have so much stuff that garage sales are a common sight all over America on Saturday mornings.
There’s lots of stuff everywhere, not just at garage sales. For example, my wife and I were strolling through a factory outlet recently. I think every store ever created was represented there. One of them featured lots of great clothes and a grand display of belt buckles. There were hundreds of them so I asked Kathy to come over and take a look. I told her, “You know, I would be a lot happier person if I had this belt buckle shaped like huge beer can.” I paused for a moment to let that sink in and then I got a little more emphatic, “No, actually, I think I would be a happier person if I had that belt buckle with a human skull on it. Yup, that’s the one I want.” A longer pause and a little more feigned excitement, “No, no, wait, the one that would really make me the happiest is that big one in the shape of an ear of corn. Wow, imagine what a happy person I would be if I owned all three!” My silly sarcasm made me laugh out loud but it was wasted on my wife because all she did was roll her eyes. Anyway, we left without buying any of the belt buckles, but that’s alright because, “I got everything that a man could want”…Grand Funk, Some Kind of Wonderful. I’ll be okay without more stuff. I am, however, thinking of going out to get myself a pair of cheap sunglasses, as ZZ Top suggested.
Even though I didn’t get a new belt buckle, I’m happy enough anyway. I’m not looking for happiness, but some people are, I guess. “Most people are searching for happiness. They’re looking for it. They’re trying to find it in someone or something outside of themselves. That’s a fundamental mistake. Happiness is something that you are, and it comes from the way you think” – Wayne Dyer, Author. What we often think, it seems to me, is that we need more. Incessant advertising in our world contributes to this notion. We pay too much attention to bombarding messages that we must have more things and this contributes to our own unhappiness. We drag ourselves down because of greed. Did I really just use that bad word? Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s think of it as ambition or aspiration. Either way, more stuff won’t make you much happier, at least not for long. If you’re like the rest of us, you’ll probably need something else bigger and better, soon.
Fortunately, I think I’m actually getting a little bit wiser as time goes by because I realize that I don’t need so much, “I am older now, I have more than what I wanted”…Crosby, Stills & Nash, Wasted on the Way. My grandmother felt the same way fifty years ago. When it was time to buy something for her birthday she asked us to please not bother. She had plenty of everything. She said she had “enoughness.” Now I know what she meant but it’s a hard concept to implement because we’re all just bundles of desire. In fact, Queen proclaimed, “I want it all, and I want it now”…I Want It All.
I know a few people who are obsessed about money and you may know some as well. Have you noticed what it’s doing to them? Maybe they’re distracted from paying enough attention to more important things. This happens. In fact, Elton John sang about a guy who made so much money that he was stowed away just counting it, “He makes a lot they say. Spends his days counting in a garage by the motorway”…Levon. There are plenty of people focused too much on money since most of us live in the land of the dollar bill. For lots of people, money is sweeter than honey, “Your kisses (oo) sweeter than honey (oo) and guess what? (oo) So is my money”…Aretha Franklin, RESPECT. Most people want more money, of course, and some of us might be thinking, “Get a good job with more pay and you’re O.K. Money, it’s a gas”…Pink Floyd, Money.
Money sure is wonderful and it opens up opportunities, but it can also cause problems. For example, in 1968 at the height of their popularity, the Beatles produced “The White Album” which included a song by John Lennon expressing the anguish he found in his wealthy and successful life, “I’m going insane. You know I’d give you everything I’ve got for a little peace of mind”…I’m So Tired. Likewise, life was not so perfect for those in the band, Queen, either, “You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it. But it’s been no bed of roses”…We Are The Champions. We might not want to admit it, but fretting about money sometimes causes us to rationalize choices that we know are not wise. They can be pretty bad decisions. For instance, here’s what The O’Jays said about the impact of money, “For the love of money people don’t care who they hurt or beat”…For The Love of Money. Unfortunately, this kind of stuff really happens as we see often enough in daily newspapers.
Sometimes, we fret so much about money that we pierce ourselves through with many sorrows, “Now it seems to me, some fine things have been laid upon your table. But you only want the ones that you can’t get”…The Eagles, Desperado. I know this from experience and so does our dog Piddy. He learned this the hard way. He likes to chase squirrels, but for probably five years, he never caught one. That changed recently when he spotted a fat gray squirrel sunning itself on the lawn and a chase ensued. The squirrel hesitated a split second before running for his life and that was just enough time for Piddy to close the gap and grab the furry little rodent from behind. He had what he had wanted for years but he sure didn’t want it long because the squirrel turned around in an instant and bit Piddy on the nose. Our family friend squealed in horror and rolled in the grass trying to get loose but couldn’t shake the varmint. I can only imagine how much it hurt when the critter’s sharp little claws sunk into Piddy’s face.
Life is a tad like this. Sometimes, we pursue things we just have to have only to later learn that our efforts were misdirected. For example, you crave that new house, new boat, new job, new girl, new guy, or new whatever. You get what you want and you’re all smiles, feeling good and then a little bit of times goes by. Before long, when you see what somebody is really like or how much money it costs to fill the gas tanks in the new boat, you no longer want what you have. Know what I mean? Watch out because you may get what you’re after. Unfortunately, the wow factor doesn’t last too long sometimes.