A Slow Return To Skinny Dipping
By: Tom Williams
Fiction
Copyright 2011 Tom Williams All rights reserved.
Smashwords Edition
License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
For Bunny Boo with love
For my little big sis Alyce Williams. Thanks for all the editing
Warning: This book contains adult content including acts of sex between a man and a woman. This book also contains some profanity. If you are under 18 years old put this book down now! Instead go enjoy cool breezes and the innocent times of your youth. Adulthood will be upon you before you know it so hold this time in your life in the highest regard. You will have plenty of time to read books like this once you are of legal age but not now!
This book is fiction in its entirety. No portion of it represents any real situation but rather is only the product of the authors imagination. No names used in this book are based on real people. If you think a name is based on a real person then you are wrong. This is all made up. None of it is real. This book is only a story from the imagination of the author and nothing else. Nothing that happened in this book is true including the names and situations within. Some locations mentioned in this book are real places but were only used as sets for the story and in no way represent anything that has happened in those locations or will happen in the future. Public nudity including skinny dipping is illegal in many places. If you choose to skinny dip then this would be at your own risk. The author and his publishers assume no liability as a result of your choices. The author always recommends following and obeying all laws.
The word, Xanax is the property of Pfizer Inc. They have kindly granted the author permission to use this word. Never take any prescription drug unless you are under the care of a qualified physician and have been issued a prescription for that drug.
Cover by Todd Price Artist of Elk Creek Virginia
Chapter 1
Corporate Dread
Ellen sat at her large bookmatched rosewood desk staring out at the Manhattan skyline. The rain of the night before had beaten down all the airborn pollution so from her thirty second floor office the sky was strangely crystal clear as the sun began to rise. She looked down from her perch and noticed a brown dome of pollution slowly rising up from the streets. She thought for a brief moment of her childhood in the Virginia Mountains. I haven’t seen the stars fill the sky in years. The city is so darn dirty. I wish it would rain every day just to wash the streets and clean the air. I hate the smell of exhaust fumes. What I wouldn’t give for a bottle of mountain air captured at dawn by the river, or to smell the forest floor again.
“That’s a million dollar view if I ever saw one,” her assistant Elsa remarked as she walked in the door.
“More like one hundred million,” Ellen replied. Elsa was a very competent, very material, soulless power seeker. She loved working for Ellen because that meant position and authority. She could get into any restaurant, club, show or event in the city with a quick call. She frequently took advantage of her position. She would lie in a second if it benefited her, but did a very good job of organizing Ellen’s affairs. Ellen was growing tired of Elsa’s superficiality. Ellen was growing tired of the self-centered people who profited greatly from her in general.
Ellen had passed her Occupational Therapy exam sixteen years before.She had considered becoming a Physical Therapist initially but after shadowing an OT in the local hospital she liked the whole person approach that OT’s seemed to possess.Even as a girl she had a unique talent in managing and balancing her mental, physical and spiritual health.She would swim in the river completely nude at dawn to feed her body and soul then walk back to the cabin musing at the wildflowers in the field. Ellen was never afraid of hard work and sweat because it tempered her mind and body to be strong. Granny would read the Bible out loud on the porch in the evenings, teaching Ellen that she was never truly alone in the world. She had learned of the blessings of kindness, goodness and strength on her Granny’s small farm. Granny had searched the county for old text books so Ellen could read and know the value of wisdom during the molding time of her life.
Ellen had worked tirelessly as an OT since passing her board exams almost to the point of an obsession in a for-profit clinic. It was run by a director that seemed often to be more concerned with the bottom line than healing patients in need. This bothered her greatly, as she felt that every patient deserved the best care possible regardless of the status of their insurance or income.
When the other girls in the clinic went out on the town, she stayed home and read clinical data for the treatment of burns and upper extremity injuries. It was her way of bringing justice to her patients by providing the best care possible in a profit driven world. It was her way of isolating herself from the dangers of going out at night to party. She held a secret inside that few were aware of, driving her to choose work over pleasure. As a result of her long, lonely hours of study with a strong cup of coffee as her only companion she became very proficient in the treatment of shoulder, hand and arm injuries. Many more experienced therapists in her clinic often sought advice from Ellen for the treatment of difficult wounds, knowing she would have the answers. Five years later, she passed her Certified Hand Therapy exam. She had played the violin throughout her childhood; she was greatly saddened when she saw someone with an injured hand.
She was a frugal woman in every way. Even after achieving an eighty thousand dollar per year income, she still had shelves that were nothing more than boards stacked on concrete blocks. Her dining room table was a 1960s Formica and steel atrocity with no two chairs around it matching. Her friends joked that she liked the college dorm look. Ellen banked every dime left over after paying the bills. Her greatest fear in life was having to move back to the mountains and work in a factory. It mattered little to her that with her certifications she would never have to work in such a place again. She would insure a financially secure life even if she had to deprive herself of a full rewarding life in the process.
Seven years after taking her OT exam she opened her own clinic. It had Speech, Occupational and Physical Therapists who could heal the many woes of human suffering, but she still felt like it wasn’t enough. People need to live a whole life and not just heal injuries, she thought. Ellen opened an office next door and contracted with Physicians and Psychologists to treat the issues that were beyond her scope of license.
As a girl she learned to sew her own clothes and had developed a unique talent for style. One year later she started selling some of the clothes that she designed for herself to others. Being a single woman with few living expenses, she could buy any clothes she wanted but sewed her own to save money, still in delusional fear of going back to the factory. Her clothing line was desired by the wealthy of New York and soon made more money than her other enterprises. She took that profit and opened a spa in the city. It was a quiet, peaceful retreat from the noise and scurrying of the metropolitan madness. She had religious leaders visit often. They would get a massage and other services in return for counseling the patrons on the spiritual aspects of their lives.
Ellen gained notoriety as the go-to girl for the wealthy. She could change your life with the programs she had created. She had experts that would teach you how to eat properly and manage your finances. Exercise Physiologists could teach you how to work out the right way to achieve the best possible physical health. Others would help heal old scars in your mind and heart. You would look like a million bucks in her clothes. Health and wellness would shine from every part of you when Ellen got her hands on you.
Soon a publisher approached her and encouraged Ellen to write a book from what she had learned. Ellen Jackson’s Heal Your Life quickly hit the best seller list and soon she was a national icon. Every celebrity who was anybody and the very wealthy would pay whatever they had to for her corporation’s services. Her name seemed to be everywhere. She was worth many millions of dollars within a few years. She still had her Formica table and she still dreamed of floating down the New River on an inner tube in the clear air of the mountains. She was still just a girl.
Ellen’s day started at four in the morning and often times it didn’t end until long after dark. Everyone wanted her. Everyone wanted her who could profit from her name and her brand. They had little care for Ellen Jackson the human being or for Ellen Jackson the soft hearted girl who longed to see stars in the sky again rather than harsh city lights.
Elsa placed the morning’s tabloids, fashion magazines and newspapers on her desk. Ellen’s name was on the cover of several of them. “I’ve got you booked all day, Ellen, then you’re having dinner tonight with Hanson Brush. His factory is sewing your new line of summer dresses. We have placed an order for four thousand of each but the retailers are placing orders so quickly that may not be enough. He wanted to speak with you about production bonuses.”
His bonus is the fact that I’m making him a very wealthy man, she snapped under her breath. “Elsa, I’m tired. Can we make arrangements for lunch or another day with him?”
“Oh Ellen, dear, are you okay?”
“Elsa, please don’t act like you have a soul because it doesn’t sit well on you.” Elsa looked offended but walked away with a manufactured smile. She called the new restaurant that had just opened down the street and made reservations in Ellen’s name so she and her friend could be among the first to dine there. Ellen overheard the conversation, but chose not to scold her. “It would be like telling a rat not to be a rat” she thought. Ellen put her head down on the table feeling more exhausted than she could ever remember and sighed.
At seven her office filled with department heads each with their own demands. She was still secretly intimidated to chair a room full of doctors, accountants, chemists and computer professionals. She still felt like that factory girl from the mountains. Ellen stabbed the toe of her left shoe into her right ankle and put an authorative look on her face. This was her “in charge trick.”
“Miss Jackson, I took this position because you assured me that we could treat the poor pro bono. Why should only the rich be entitled to our programs?” the medical director snapped.
Two accountants barked back that this was a for-profit company and not a charity.
Ellen held up her hand. “We will treat the poor as well as the rich on a sliding fee scale. Some will be treated for free as the doctor will decide. I promised him this when he came on with us and that is what we will do.”
The doctor smiled as the accountants ranted about lost revenue. At some point it was all a blur of bickering in Ellen’s mind. Everyone had their own vision of what her company should be and none were willing to bend. Ellen politely reminded them that her marketing team was waiting in the lobby, then sternly warned them to work it out and report back as adults. Bickering pissed her off and stressed her out. They left still arguing in the lobby.
The marketing team was working on several promotional ideas and the meeting didn’t end until after noon. Risk management was waiting in the lobby and rushed her office. She would spend the rest of the day listening to compliance updates and brand trademark law. I want to be out of this lifesucking place so badly that I just can’t stand another day of it, she thought as Elsa read her evening schedule. “Elsa you are aware that you have me scheduled until well after eleven?”
“Well Ellen we just couldn’t fit it all in today and you’re booked through the week so I didn’t know what else to do. Everyone wants you, Ellen.”
She smiled back at her robot assistant. Everyone wants me? I haven’t had a boyfriend in fifteen years. Everyone wants to profit from me would be more accurate, she thought. Then she remembered the check for one million dollars she wrote to the homeless shelter last week and pulled herself back together. They need me. Look at yourself girl, you’re bitching because you have to work hard while they don’t even have a place to sleep tonight. She felt ashamed.
Hanson Brush was an arrogant weasel of a man by anyone’s account. He was often rude and condescending to waiters, doormen and anyone else that couldn’t further his career. This bothered Ellen, the factory girl from the mountains, and her patience with him had been running low for quite some time. Nothing about him was kind or even decent in human terms. He loathed what he considered to be the lower portions of society, considering himself to be a higher standard of evolution in the world. Hanson clearly thought of himself in divine terms and Ellie secretly laughed that he probably liked the smell of his own poo.
He sat across from Ellen stroking his dyed goatee with stinking self-centeredness. “You see, Miss Jackson, in order to produce the number of garments you will need I will require more staff. This will cost quite a bit more than my usual fee.”
That little bastard is trying to blackmail me, she thought. If I don’t pay up big he will stall production. She remembered her first meeting with him in London two years before. His company was failing and when she offered him the garment contract he practically kissed her feet. He humbly promised to always be loyal to her and give her a fair price. She increased the contract price so he could pay his people well but he kept the extra profit for himself. She paid his employees direct bonuses every Christmas out of guilt for Hanson’s misdeeds. She had failed to hold him accountable to them in the initial contract. He was the great garment producer for Ellen Jackson now and thought of himself as a god. She still remembered what it felt like to be a factory worker. She despised Hanson and people like him.
“You see, Miss Jackson, it would be a shame for the stores not to carry your full line due to such small issues as production difficulties. I think our contract should be increased by three million dollars American. This would make my small company able to provide you with the service you expect.”
“How much of that money would go to pay raises for all of the people that work so hard making my clothing line?”
“Well, Miss Jackson, that would be an internal matter within my shop. It would be a terrible shame for your line to miss the shows coming soon.”
Ellen picked up her cell phone and dialed. She looked at Hanson with pure feminine anger. “Yes this is Ellen Jackson. I’ve been told by my clothing line producer that he may not be able to meet the demands of my retail line. I would like to speak with you at your convenience to see if you can pick up the slack. Yes, that would be fine. If you could come by my office at five tomorrow morning, I’m sure we can make some kind of arrangement. Bye, bye.”
Hanson looked as if his heart was about to stop. He quit stroking his baby beard. “Oh, Miss Jackson, there is no need to call other companies. I’m sure we can increase production somehow.”
“Listen to me right now, you little worm. When I contracted with you I was promised that you would treat your employees well and would always serve me fairly. You have done neither. I can pull my entire line out of your hands with a word, you slime. Don’t you ever try to blackmail me again or I’ll publicly tell the world just how much of a dirt bag you really are. Don’t you ever threaten me again or I’ll end you. Is that clear?”
“Yes, Miss Jackson.” The worm shriveled up in his seat, sweating profusely. His look of arrogance was replaced by one of fear. “Just to show you that I mean it, I will be giving the Celestial line to the man I just called. You just lost twenty million because I don’t like the way you do business. Give your people a raise and don’t ever screw with me again.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Ellen signed the check and left the table without another word. Hanson was one of many slimeballs she had had to deal with since the sun rose that morning. She felt heat on her face and her heart raced. She hated unethical people. She despised people that took an unfair advantage of others.
Ellen stayed in her office suite that night, as she had a very early day in the morning. She examined herself in the large mirror that covered the wall of her dressing room before stepping into the shower. At forty one her breasts still sat high on her chest. “Thank God for a B cup” she thought. Lines were showing on her face and none of her products or anyone else’s for that matter could erase them. Her eyes looked tired and her lips had lost some of their color. When the heck did all of this happen? she thought. You look like shit, girl. She reasoned with herself that a hot shower and a good night’s sleep would help.
The city noise below had no effect on the peace of her high perch. She lay in bed telling herself that she only had four hours so she better get to sleep. Fifteen minutes later she was still wide awake. God, you have blessed me so much in my life so why do I feel so empty? I always wanted children and I’ve never known true love in my entire life. Is this the price of my success? Am I going to die as one of those lonely rich old birds? Are selfish people going to fight over my estate not caring about me or who I was? Her emotions had been leaking both in public and private more often lately. She was becoming bitter and sometimes downright mean, to her own dismay. The show must go on, Ellen. A stiff shot of single malt ended her day.
The alarm sounded precisely at four the next morning. It was a recording of a waterfall near her childhood home in the mountains. The sound she loved throughout her youth now sounded like a barking dog in her ear as it coldly ordered her to get out of bed. “Ok darn it I hear you. I’m getting up already.” Ellen did her morning exercise routine in obedience to her own standard of life. Her breathing was heavy and she was sweating much more than usual. She felt tired deep down inside and wondered how she could get through another day. Damn, I need a break, she thought. Maybe Elsa can schedule me some time off in a month or two.
A yogurt smoothie with algae from some high far off place was her usual breakfast. It was forced down her throat by a large cup of strong, black coffee. I want just one more cup of coffee with sugar in it before I die, she thought. Maybe some country ham, too. A big blueberry waffle with cream cheese all over it would be nice, also. She sighed. Maybe in another life. I could be one of those big fat girls that never apologizes for what I eat. I could eat sausage gravy biscuits for breakfast and ice cream for lunch. I could eat an entire pizza for dinner all by myself and yell at my ten kids when they tried to take some. When my husband came home from work I could say, “where the hell is my chocolate?” Ellen laughed out loud at her fantasy.
“What’s so funny?” Elsa asked as she walked into the room.
Ellen gazed at her, ashamed of her vulnerabilities. She looked like crap and was clearly hung over. “Did you have a late night, Elsa?”
“Yes, we went out to the new club just down the street. They kept handing my friend and me drinks as if we were celebrities. I had a little too much.”
“How did you ever get in that club, Elsa? I thought reservations were almost impossible there.”
“Uh, oh, umm, a friend of mine got me in.”
“Oh, who was that?”
“He’s just some guy I met the other day. I forget his name.”
Ellen decided to drop it, because she needed Elsa in top shape for the day ahead.
“I have a new clothing manufacturer coming in shortly, Elsa. I’m going to give him the Celestial line.”
Elsa looked deeply concerned. Ellen had suspected her of getting kickbacks from Hanson Brush for some time. “Oh, what about Hanson? He’s always done such a fine job in the past.”
“He’s a snake, Elsa, and you can tell him I said that. I’m teaching him a lesson.”
Elsa looked a little paranoid. “Why would I ever speak to him, Ellen? I barely know the man.”
Ellen just gave her a look as if to say “I know your game.”
“I’ll go see if they’re here yet.” Elsa quickly left the room.
Ellen noticed her dialing her cell phone as she rounded the corner out of the office. Hanson’s not the only snake around here, she thought.
Mr. Stancil was a very nice older gentleman who had begun his career as a tailor many years before.He had personally witnessed the changes in fashion over the last forty years of his career.His specialty was copying old designs from the early 1960s for the retro look that had been catching on for quite a few years. Everyone who worked for him was a family member or close associate. His small company paid its employees better than any in the field. He was soft spoken and honest.
Ellen wished she would have known about him two years ago. She liked him very much and felt confident that he could pull off any design she came up with. Ellen had done her homework prior to the meeting and knew his reputation was impeccable for quality of the garments, timeliness and being a fair employer.She gave him a twenty million dollar contract. He signed at five thirty am with shaking hands and much gratitude. “Ma’am, this will change my entire family’s life. I can pay for everyone’s college with this and start a fund for future employees. Thank you, Ma’am.”
“Thank you sir for taking this line on with such short notice. I was in a bind and you will get me out of it, Mr. Stancil.”
“I won’t let you down, Miss Jackson.”
“Call me Ellen. I have the greatest faith in you.”
“Thank you, Ellen. We will start today.”He spoke into his cell as he left her office. “Call the whole family for a meeting. We have a lot of work to do and we need to get on it.”
It made Ellen feel good inside to help good people get ahead in life. This was a small reward for the long day ahead of her.
Ellen spent the next six hours speaking to retailers on the phone, trying to get more orders for the celestial line. She wanted Mr. Stancil to get as much of her business as possible. She secured another half million in revenue for him and a good chunk for herself as well. She didn’t want Elsa to know about it, so she made the calls herself. Elsa spied on her from the desk, just outside wondering what she was up to on the phone for so long.
It was Friday, so as always Ellen toured her offices, spas and other facilities, hiding her exhaustion by holding her head high and forcing a smile on her face. She met clients and laughed at their jokes and asked each employee how they were doing as she passed by. She was genuine with them and they felt good about working for her company. They felt like she cared and they were right. By two in the afternoon she found her way back to the office and laid her head down on the desk.
“Ellen your two fifteen is here for the new super spa meeting.”
“Thank you, Elsa. Please send them in.” Designers and architects filled her office. Each had differing opinions. There would be more bickering soon. Things started out calm, but when the ex-hippie she hired to design the mood of the spa wanted to put live animals in the trees and plants to let Mother Earth in gave her opinion, the room went nuts. The attorney railed about liability if a parrot bit someone and the health risk of bird poop everywhere.
“Man, you just don’t get mother. She’s clean and the smell of poop is real, man,” the hippie retorted.
The accountants were concerned about the cost of food and maintenance for the animals. Things turned hostile quickly.
“Enough!” Ellen couldn’t stand senseless arguing. “We will never have live animals in this spa, is that clear?” The hippie looked greatly offended. Ellen turned to her. “How do you think those birds will feel trapped in a New York City building all day?”
“Right on, man. I never thought of it that way.”
Ellen was going to take control and get the plan in order, but suddenly her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. She felt more afraid than she had ever felt in her life. It felt as if a nuclear war had begun. She started to sweat and it was hard for her to breathe. She felt dizzy and a tear fell down her cheek. “I’m not feeling well, so we will have to continue this meeting later. Please excuse me. I need to rest for a while.”
The crowd left looking concerned. Elsa tried to come in but Ellen shut her office door and locked it in her face. “I need to be alone for a while,” she spoke through the door.
Ellen fell to the floor in fear for her life. “What’s happening to me? God, please help me!” Her heartbeat sounded in her ears and then they began to ring loudly. She curled up in a ball on the floor and cried like a child for reasons she didn’t understand. “Why am I crying? Why am I so afraid? Am I dying from a heart attack?” Her fear grew worse; Elsa relentlessly knocked on the door. “Go away, Elsa, I want to be alone.”
Ellen picked up the phone and called the direct line of the medical director down stairs. “Ellen, what can I do for you today?” Doctor Galbraith had a calming voice. She had always been able to trust him.
“Doctor, something is happening to me that I don’t understand. My heart is pounding and I feel so afraid. Will you please come to my office but don’t tell anyone.”
“I’ll be right up, Ellen. Try to relax.”
“My door code is two eight four. Please don’t let anyone else in.”
She stood and staggered to the sofa. It was out of sight from the doorway. She curled in the corner of it and cried with a great loss of control.
The doctor entered her office, looking greatly concerned.He had Ellen’s medical records in hand. She seemed to be in amazing health on paper.
“I’m sorry that I’m such a mess, doctor. It just happened all at once. I feel like I’m dying.”
He examined her thoroughly. “Ellen I think you’re having a panic attack. You’re going to be just fine.”
He took a .5 milligram Xanax from his bag and filled a glass of water. “Take this, dear, and close your eyes. I promise that you will be ok. I’m staying right here until it’s over, so don’t worry about a thing.” The doctor took a wash cloth from the shower and ran cold water on it. “The sensory touch of this on your forehead will help.” He rubbed it on the sides of her face gently.After ten minutes she started to calm down. “You see, Ellen, you’re going to be just fine.”
She realized that her anxiety was diminishing. That meant she wasn’t dying, so she started to calm down even more. “I’m so ashamed, doctor. I’ve never experienced anything like this in my life.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Ellen. This doesn’t mean that you’re crazy or anything of the sort. You do need a rest though – that’s the doctor’s order.”
“I think you’re right,” she replied without argument.
“That new psychologist I just hired is an anxiety specialist, Ellen. I think you need to see him.”
“Does that mean I am crazy?”
“No, but it does mean you need help. In the meantime, I’ll write you a prescription. Take one half of a pill every morning and one whole right away if this starts again. See the man, Ellen. You won’t get through this alone.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
Ellen opened the door. Elsa, on her cell phone, hung up quickly. Ellen walked back to her desk and took out a company check. She wrote on it and handed it to Elsa. This is your severance check for six months’ pay. I’m letting you go immediately. I won’t be surrounded by people that I can’t trust.”
Elsa was taken completely off guard. She held the check in silence.
“Go now, Elsa because I’m locking this office for the day.”
Elsa stood and left in silence, knowing that her secret deeds had cost her a lucrative job.
Ellen turned the key in the door and followed Doctor Galbraith to the clinic floor. The news is out already, darn it,” she thought as faces poked out looking at her and speaking in whispers from corners and halls. Damn that Elsa.
“If you want, I’ll switch all of your calls to my secretary, Ellen” the doctor said. “She’s a good one and knows how to keep her mouth shut.”
“Thank you doctor.”
“Do you know why I contracted with you, Ellen?”
“No.”
“Because I thought you were a very good and decent person that could do much to help the world. I still do. I wanted to be a part of your company because I have great faith in you.”
“Thank you, doctor,” she said with a trembling voice.
“You’ve got an ally in me, Ellen, now and forever.” He took her hand gently.
“Thank you so much, doctor. I feel so uncertain. I’m terrified.”
“We are going to get you through this. You’re going to be fine, but some major life changes are in order. Ellen, you’re going to have to manage this and not let your lifestyle continue to cause you so much anxiety. I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
Ellen squeezed his hand.
“Now, stand tall and look these gawkers right in the eye, young lady. You, after all are Ellen Jackson.”
She laughed for the first time since panic overcame her.
They were met by a kind looking man just as they reached the door of an office filled with calming earth tones and tasteful art on the walls.
“Ellen, this is Doctor Steve Host. He is an anxiety specialist with more experience than many in his specialty. I consider him to be the best in his field.”
“Ellen, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. We are going to have you up and running in no time, trust me. You will have to make some major changes in your life, or this problem will never go away.” He took her trembling hand. His touch was gentle and his eyes were kind. There was an honest clarity about him. “Do you trust me, Ellen?”
“Yes.”
“Great, we just cleared the first hurdle. Let’s get to it.”
Doctor Galbraith had assembled the best medical team in the country for health and wellness since starting at her company. It was crystal clear to Ellen that she made a very good choice in him. She was in the competent hands of experts.
Doctor Host spelled out anxiety disorders to Ellen as they sat in his office. After an hour she understood the cumulative effects of stress, lack of sleep and not surrounding herself with better people. Hope filled her heart. She felt like she was starting a vacation with new adventures and nourishing thoughts. She was still ashamed of her anxiety. Steve explained that the people who would judge her were not true friends anyway. They discussed at length the qualities of true and caring people. They discussed the effects of toxic humans in her life also. They talked about trying to take on the world alone.
“Ellen, we need to make a total lifestyle plan for you. Your company has done this for many thousands of clients yet you have denied it for yourself.”
“I never have time to think straight, Doctor, much less take care of myself.”
“Well, today you are going to plant the seeds of the new Ellen Jackson, so what do you say?”
“Okay,” she replied with a slight tone of fear and uncertainty.
“I want you to take ten days off, starting tomorrow, Ellen. Go somewhere you’ve never been before. Relax, exercise, sleep, and eat whatever you want.”
“Ten days? This company will fall apart if I take a weekend off. I can’t do that.” Her voice was filled with increasing anxiety and fear that was clear to her and Steve.
“Do you want more panic attacks, Ellen?”
“No.”
“Your mind and body are insisting on rest and they will get it whether you give them permission or not. Your anxiety will become more severe and more frequent if you don’t make some changes – so what’s it going to be?”
Ellen didn’t have the word surrender in her vocabulary. The thought of just leaving was alien to everything she was made of.
“Do you trust me or not Ellen?”
“Yes.”
“We need to find someone that is competent to run your company and that you trust completely. Do you have anyone in mind?”
She took a deep breath. “My old college roommate is the only person I can think of. She helped me through a very difficult time in my life once, the worst time of my life. She’s an attorney in Dunedin, Florida and I was always able to trust her. I never talk to her anymore but she was always a really good friend.”
The doctor looked at her with concern of the words she chose when describing her friends support but chose to drop it until Ellen was more stable.
“Let’s give her a call right now.”
“She has a husband and son. I can’t just expect her to take on this nightmare at a moment’s notice.”
“Let’s find out how she feels about it, Ellen.”
She picked up her cell phone with apprehension and dialed. A man’s voice answered. “Ellen, is that you? It’s me, Wes. Missy said just the other day how much she misses you. Let me put her on the phone.”
“Hi, Ellen how have you been? I’ve missed you so much. I didn’t call because you’re so busy. I didn’t want to bother you.”
Steve held up a note to Ellen. “Be straight up” is all that it said. Ellen nodded and felt like she would be sick to her stomach. “Missy, I need you. I had a full blown panic attack and the doctor says if I don’t make some changes, they’ll just get worse. I know this is a lot to ask and feel free to say no, but I need you to look after my company for ten days so I can take some time off. You’re the only one I trust, Missy.”
The phone was quiet for a brief moment; then Missy spoke. “I’ll be there tonight, Ellen. I’ll call the airline and take the first flight out.”
“Just like that, Missy? Do you have things to take care of first?”
“Friends always come first. Ellen. I’ll be there tonight.”
“Thank you so much, Missy. I’ll send a limo to the airport for you. Just let me know what flight you’re taking.”
“See you in a few hours, honey. Try to stay calm and take care of yourself. I love you.”
“I love you, too, and thank you so much.”
“Bye.”
“See how easy that was.” Steve smiled. “Your company is wholly owned by you, so no board will have to be satisfied and we will tell your friend how to keep the wolves away, so pack, my dear.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
“Where will I go?” The phone rang before Steve could answer.
It was Missy. “Wes says get your ass down here and stay at our house. He won’t take no for an answer. He has promised to feed you and make sure you relax. We have already booked a ticket for you so while I’m flying up you’ll be flying to Florida. Get on the plane, Ellen.”
She hung up before Ellen could reply. Her phone beeped. “It’s confirmation for an airline ticket.”
“Just like that” Steve laughed. “Go pack and fill the prescription the doctor gave you before your flight.”
Ellen hugged Steve shakily. She had never checked out of anything in her life. She was feeling both terribly irresponsible and excited at the prospect of her first vacation in fifteen years.
She signed all of the necessary papers for Missy to take control of her empire. There was no doubt in her mind that Missy would fight to the death for her. She prayed to God that it wouldn’t give Missy a panic attack too.
Ellen packed her bags with great apprehension as the time for her flight drew near. I know how to pack for corporate travel but I haven’t packed to go have fun in years. I don’t think these thousand dollar dresses and suits are going to work on the beach. She stuffed her bags with a random assortment of clothes, planning to buy whatever she needed when she landed in Florida. Damn this anxiety. I’m getting stressed out packing a carry-on bag, for crying out loud.
Her limo driver waited in front of the lobby of her offices. The photographers already lined the street waiting for their prey with uncaring greed. Elsa had gone from her office directly to a tabloid nearby. A photograph taken from a small camera Elsa carried of Ellen in tears would be all over the country by morning. The press wanted even more of her blood, so they waited like vampires.
She stepped onto the street to hundreds of blinding flashes directly in her face. The photographers bumped into her and blocked her way to the limo. They were trying to bait her to get a reaction hoping she would fall apart for their gain. They wanted more pictures of her crying. Her driver Dickie was fiercely protective of Ellen. He pushed two of the photographers out of her way knocking the cameras from their hands. “I’ll sue you for assault, mister,” one of them said.
“Yeah, you piece of dirt and I’ll sue you for false imprisonment of Miss Jackson. I’ve had a camera rolling on you from the limo.” Another one blocked their way to the car. “Give me a reason to kick your ass,” Dickie snapped at the dirtball. The dirtball moved out of the way.
“Thank you, Dickie” she said as they reached the safety of the limo. Dickie had come from a profoundly poor and very good hearted family. Ellen found him ten years before working as a street vendor and liked his upbeat attitude. She watched him for some time as he smiled at children and sometimes gave the homeless a hotdog. She gave him a job as a runner in her building on a whim and soon noticed what a good man he was. He had been her driver for the last seven years and would defend her with his life. Last year she put him in an uptown apartment saying he needed to be closer to the office. With the salary she paid him he was able to support his aging parents and a sister who had cerebral palsy along with his wife and children.
“I’m sorry they blocked you Miss Jackson. I’ll get in there more quickly next time.”
“Ellen, Dickie. How many times do I have to tell you to call me Ellen?”
“Yes Ma’am.”
Dickie had called airport security ahead of time. Two guards escorted Ellen through a side hall quickly to the gate as they arrived. Ellen looked back at the security check and noticed a throng of photographers staking out the place. She was much relieved to reach the relative safety of a first class seat on the jet.
The plane started to taxi down the runway. Rain had painted sheen on the concrete as she looked from the window. Ellen hated taking off in the rain due to a very bumpy flight through a storm several years before. She reached in her bag and took another Xanax from the bottle. What am I going to do in Florida, anyway? Am I going to pick up seashells for ten days? What the heck do people do on vacation? Maybe I’ll watch movies and eat fattening foods, she laughed.
The engines accelerated and the jet started to climb high into the sky. It made a wide turn to the south. She smiled at herself. I’m like a prisoner escaping from jail. They’ll never find me. Soon the hum of the engines drugged her into a deep sleep
Chapter 2
Kind Arrival
“Is that her?” Ellen over heard as she awoke. She looked across the aisle and saw two elderly ladies holding a copy of Gossipy, Malicious Lies Weekly. It was one of the worst tabloids on the market and her picture was on the front cover. She was crying and the picture was taken from just outside her office door. Damn that Elsa.
Ellen smiled at the women. “Don’t believe everything you read, ladies.”
They looked embarrassed. “Miss Jackson, we don’t care what they say about you because you saved our lives with your ‘After the Death of a Spouse’ program. Our husbands died years ago and we didn’t know what to do next until we joined your program. Now we are flying first class to Florida together. We’re going to meet up with other widows in St Pete and party together. We have a huge support group where we can call each other at any time day or night for assistance. We love you and all the gossip rags can go to hell.”
Ellen felt a tear forming. “Thank you, ladies. I wouldn’t be anything at all without people like you.”
Ellen reached into her bag and took out a pen and paper. “Write down your addresses and I’ll send you coupons for my new program. I have high hopes for ‘Don’t Give up Yet for Older Women.’
The ladies were beaming with happiness as they wrote down their information. “Miss Jackson, please take care of yourself because we just love you so much. I wrote down the address of our hotel and meeting times if you would honor us by coming.”
“Thank you, ladies. People like you are what makes me feel so good about what I do. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try to get to one of your meetings.”
They smiled with anticipation.
Ellen looked at the women closely as the jet descended. They were good women and felt as if she really made a difference in their lives. This was the reason she started her company, to bring joy into people’s lives. The women weren’t privileged celebrities or the chosen few of society. They were just regular, kind American girls at heart who had found life after loss. She remembered Doctor Galbriath’s suggestion that the program be put on video and made available to the population at large. The joy on the widow’s faces meant that he had made a very good choice. The video sales proved to be more profitable than all of the face to face counseling with her wealthy clientele.It was a rock solid business decision that had opened a broad market while helping the masses. He’s a good man. I need to take a long look at him and his future in the company when I get back.
Ellen sat in a chair just out from the plane. She called the hotel where the ladies would be staying. “Yes I’m calling about the “Ellen Jackson Program” widows meeting this week.”
“Yes ma’am, we have two hundred and forty one guests booked for that. There are four rooms left. Would you like to reserve a room?”
“No sir, this is Ellen Jackson. I’m going to give you a credit card number and authorize it up to twenty thousand dollars for those women. Serve them cracked crab, champagne and anything else they want all week long please. Give them a healthy breakfast of fruit and blueberry waffles or whatever they desire. Could you also arrange a nice boat ride for them to view a beautiful sunset?”
“Yes ma’am, I’ll be happy to treat them very well.”
“Don’t tell them who paid for this, please.”
“Oh no, ma’am. Miss Jackson my family is praying for you.”
“Thank you, sir, and have a good day.”
“Ma’am, my wife is in the best shape of her life because of ‘Your Total Human’ program. Thank you.”
“Tell her I’m proud of her and to keep it up, will you?”
“Oh yes, ma’am.”
Missy’s husband Wes walked up to the gate with two security guards. He gave her a strong, genuine hug and kissed her on the cheek. It made her feel warm inside to be in the presence of a true friend.
“Ellen, it’s so good to see you again. Listen, there are photographers just outside the gate so these men are going to sneak us out through the cargo entrance of the airport. My truck is parked on the tarmac and they will lead us out. We’ll take the back way to Clearwater so the scoundrels will never know what happened to you.”
They made it to Wesley’s truck without incident.
Wes hit the gas hard as they pulled onto Hillsborough Avenue. “You might want to tone down your dress around here if you want to remain anonymous, Ellen. Outfits like that kind of stand out in the Bay area.”
“I didn’t know what to wear.” Wes reached in his pocket and unfolded a sheet of paper. He looked it over at the red light. He tore a piece from the paper and handed it to Ellen. It was a note from Missy.
“I have laid out shorts, swimwear and t-shirts on your bed. Wear them, rest, and become the woman I’ve always loved again. PS: Walk barefoot in the sand. It exfoliates your feet and heals your soul.”
“She pre-wrote answers to your questions before she left,” Wes laughed.
When they reached Oldsmar Wes pulled the truck down a side street into a working class neighborhood. A young man waved from the porch as Wes pulled up to the old clapboard sided shack. Ellen’s heart rate increased. “Is this Missy’s and your house Wes?”
“No, I took a Canadian man out fishing in Tampa Bay for a few extra bucks today. I left the boat at Danny’s house here because I couldn’t get it into the airport. He’s just an old Cracker boy but he’s as good as they come. We’ll be out of here in a minute.”
“Thanks Danny,” Wes yelled as they pulled away with the boat.”
“Anytime you old Bay dredger” he yelled back.
“I thought you were a carpenter, Wesley?”
“I am, Ellie, but that old Canadian pays me three times as much in an afternoon of fishing than I can make building houses all day, so I take him out whenever he wants to go.”
No one had called her Ellie since she was a child in the mountains. She laughed quietly.
“Did I say something funny?”
“Ellie.” she laughed louder.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I should have referred to you as the esteemed Miss Jackson,” he laughed.
“Ellie is just fine, Wes.”
They pulled down Wes and Missy’s street. It was a quaint neighborhood of 1920s homes that had seen better days. It was well below the standard that Ellen was accustomed to in her Manhattan protected loft but smiling people waved as Wes drove by. Wes pulled past a new Mercedes Benz parked on the street in front of a flower filled yard and then into the driveway. “Missy still loves flowers, I see.”
“Yeah, the backyard looks like some kind of botanical garden. My wife is flower obsessed.”
Ellen gazed at the house as they walked up the front porch stairs. It was a small, very old and somehow much loved. The delicious aroma of a home cooked meal mingled with the scents of blooming flowers in the yard. The humble home seemed to welcome her as a peaceful place of retreat.
A well-dressed woman who possessed a clear air of old money wealth met them at the door. “Hello, you must be Ellen. My name is Nell and I’m so pleased to meet you.
Ellen smiled at Nell and leaned close to Wes whispering, “Is this your mother?”
“No, dear,” Nell said, overhearing her. “But every man needs several mothers to keep him in line. I work with Missy from time to time. I’m just a friend. Are you hungry, dear? I made vegetable beef soup Florida style and it’s ready whenever you want it.”
Ellen’s heart started to beat faster again and she didn’t answer. She was very hungry though.
“Oh dear, you must be tired. Just sit right down here and I’ll bring you a bowl.”
She led Ellen to a chair at the table and patted her hand. “Eat, dear.”
The soup was the best thing Ellen had eaten in years. Every kind of vegetable had been cut into large pieces and was surrounded in a heavy broth full of many kinds of greens and spices. “I’m sorry,” she said shyly as she shoveled the soup into her mouth. “I guess I was hungrier than I thought.”
“No Ellie, that’s just Nell’s soup calling to you. It’s the best Florida soup in town. I’m hungry too Nell.”
“You know where the bowls are, Wesley.” He laughed and went to the kitchen to serve himself.
A young boy ran from the hallway at full speed and wrapped his arms around Ellen. “Teacher” he said as he gave her a hug.
“No, Carl, this is Ellen. She’s a friend of your mommy.”
“Friend,” he said and gave her another hug. Ellen smiled at him and hugged back. The last hour had brought more personal contact into her life than in the last fifteen years. I almost forgot what a real hug feels like, she thought.
After the meal Nell led Ellen to her bedroom. “You are going to take Carl’s bed while he sleeps with his daddy this week, dear.” Ellen looked at Nell’s large sapphire ring and her tailored clothes.
“Nell, do they need money for a better house?”
“Size doesn’t matter, honey, haven’t you heard? They will be just fine I can promise you that. There’s a lot of love in this house.”
Ellen was exhausted both in mind and body. She smelled Missy in the house and longed for her laughter. The walls of Carl’s room were covered with art and life.
She heard Wes tickling Carl in the room next door. He was laughing loudly. “I love you, daddy.” “I love you too, Carl.” Then the home fell peacefully quiet. She thought of her grandmother’s love in the tiny mountain home of her youth. The ocean breeze blowing through the windows sang her to sleep.
Ellen felt breath on her face and a kiss on her cheek as she slept. “Friend, friend wake up.” She opened her eyes startled by the voice. Carl had pulled her arm around him and was snuggled by her side. “It’s Saturday, friend, don’t you want to play? Wake up.”
“Carl, don’t bother Ellen. Come out here right now and let her sleep” she heard from the hall. He jumped out of the bed and ran from the room giggling.
The aroma of sizzling bacon wafted as Carl opened the door to leave. It smelled temptingly delicious.
“Good morning, Ellie. Are you hungry?” Wes stood at the stove cooking bacon and some kind of omelet. A large bowl of diced fruit sat on the table.
“I’m starving.”
“Sorry about Carl. He’s a snuggle monster.”
Carl laughed. “I’m a monster.”
Wes stuck a piece of bacon in his mouth and he gobbled it up monster style.
“What time is it, Wes?”
“It’s twelve thirty, Ellie. We decided to have breakfast for lunch.”
“Oh my God I slept until past noon?”
“That’s what vacation is for Ellie.”
“I haven’t slept past five in the morning in fifteen years.”
“That’s a darn shame, Ellie.”
A minivan pulled up in front of the house full of kids. There’s your ride, boy. You better get going.” Wes waved at the driver as she pulled away then turned to Ellen. “Carl takes sailing lessons every Saturday afternoon. Now eat, girl, because I make the best omelets this side of Tallahassee.”
Ellen placed a small bite of the omelet in her mouth. It was a magical blending of flavors that came alive on her tongue: cheese, vegetables and spices all coordinated with each other to burst with one flavor sensation after another.
“Try a bite with each different type of fruit,” Wes said, laughing quietly.
“This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted, Wes. Those highbrow restaurants I eat in don’t have a thing on this.”
He smiled proudly as he placed more of it on her plate. “I worked as a cook in a restaurant when I was a teenager. The lady that ran it was a New Orleans chef that had lived in Paris for five years.”
“Did she teach you some kind of bayou magic – because this is amazing.”
Wes bowed with a large smile on his face.
Ellen ate more calories at that table than she had eaten all week long in New York and felt no guilt.
Wes tore another slip from Missy’s paper. “Wes likes it when girls get fat. His cooking is like a drug, so watch how much you eat. He will cook for you until you refuse to eat any more.” Ellen laughed.
“Girls look good with a small paunch in their belly don’t you think?”
“No, Wes, I do not and don’t go making me fat.”
“Well yes ma’am.”
Ellen cleaned her plate, disregarding Missy’s warning. Wes tore another slip of paper and handed it to her. “I warned you. Some people just don’t listen.” Ellen laughed loudly.
“I spoke to Missy right before you woke up. She met with some doctor of yours this morning. He filled her in on the wicked ways of the big city. She said not to worry about anything, because she’ll kick some butt for you.”
“I’m not worried about Missy Wes. I’m worried about the suits that cross her temper, though.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“Ellen I want to say a few things real quick. I am a combat veteran. I’ve had every human emotion you can think of including anxiety and panic attacks. If you need to talk just let me know, ok?”