Poetry by
Yoshira Marbel
Modern Evil Press
Phoenix
ISBN: 978-1-934516-23-2
Copyright 2011 Yoshira Marbel
Some Rights Reserved.
This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, California, 94105, USA.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, entities and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of either the author or the publisher.
Cover image Copyright 2009-2011 by Teel McClanahan III
Published by Modern Evil Press at Smashwords
ISBN: 978-1-934516-22-5 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-1-934516-23-2 (eBook)
you tear my soul apart each day,
but still I love you.
Unspecified is a collection of poems based on my experiences as an average 27-year-old Indian female from South Africa trying to cope with the daily struggles of life while suffering with depression. It is an honest and heartfelt account which describes the battles I have had to fight within my mind in an effort to maintain a level of sanity.
A simple disappointment can be turned instantly into a reason for self hatred and loneliness. A breakup with a boy I have known for a few days becomes an epic, world-altering event.
Every word uttered to me is analysed in order to find a hidden meaning in the hope that my next depressive episode will for once have a reasonable explanation and a person it can be directed towards so that I am absolved of all blame. My poems express my feelings about events that are considered to be a part of daily “normal” life but that are negatively personified in my mind.
Beyond 'depression', the doctors don't even have a name for the way I am; my official diagnosis is 'Unspecified' – because my doctors aren't poets. But with depression comes emptiness, anger, suffering, and hate, and I have used my poetry to express these emotions, putting into words what my doctors have never been able to understand.
I hope after reading my poetry you will feel a sense of comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your sadness or, alternatively, think I am just a selfish, crazy mental patient who needs intense psychiatric help. Either way, read it and enjoy.
-Yoshira Marbel
At least I have my faithful friend
He never leaves my side
Lays next to me at night
Wraps his arms around me
Holding me tight
Can’t break away
He is here to stay
My dear friend
Pain
Lingering on my pure skin
The stink of your lying face
Regret and rage
self hate
and pain
Left behind
after my first time
A bleeding hand
And shards of a shattered mirror
Cracks on my face
Left behind
after your storm
Innocent baby girl
with pink shoes
and pretty little bows
now dirt
Left behind
After your touch
Tumultuous, deadly waves
Crashing against the sand paper rocks
Closer and closer
It reaches over
Opens its arms
I feel a sense of calm
Lost in the waves
A blinding light
Reflecting
On my dark brown eyes
Patiently waiting
To take me away
Finally free
So let me be
Misunderstood
Don’t
judge me
Help me
Different
Not normal you say
Like the
moon coming out in the day
I am the way I am
And don’t want
to change
Not like you, you all the same
What happened to
you
You used to be so nice
Secretly I was dying inside
Trapped
Cold steel bars
Surrounded by grey, bare walls
Like an ragged old cart
Pulled through the field