How to Love Yourself:
A Guide to Loving and Living Well
Peter J. Ferguson
Copyright 2011, Peter J. Ferguson
Smashwords Edition
All Rights Reserved
CONTENTS
Admit That You Are Worth Loving
Realize Your Unique Place in Creation
Give Yourself the Benefit Of the Doubt
Surround Yourself with Loving Friends
Consistently Read Self-Improvement Materials
Why did I write this book?
I owned a web design and online support business for many years. Because of that I pay attention to what people are searching for on the internet. Naturally, I was curious what people were searching for to find my Life Coaching site: TheSupreme.Me.
Someone had searched for “deep deep down I love myself,” and found my site. This made me so happy!! It also made me curious. How many people were searching for “I love myself?” So I did a little more digging. The results were very surprising, and a little alarming! I'd like to share them with you.
I
researched two phrases in particular:
• I love myself, and
•
I hate myself
A
third phrase came up that caught my attention:
• I hate myself
and I want to die
Would you like to know how many searches there were for each, in just one month?
700
people searched for “I love myself”
6,600 people searched for
“I hate myself”
1,000 people searched for “I hate myself and
I want to die”
That’s just in one month, on one search engine! Looking back through previous months, the results were similar. I thought to myself, “So many people are seeking to love themselves that thousands upon thousands are searching the internet for help on the subject. Some are missing out on self-love so badly that they want to die. This is a real problem!”
I immediately wondered what I could possibly do to help this situation! I believe there is an abundance of love in our world. Humans are capable of vast amounts of love. That’s right, YOU are capable of vast amounts of love. You are capable of loving yourself in abundance! Perhaps you just don't know how.
I have lived much of my life not loving myself, or not knowing how. Many (most?) of my surroundings as a youth were harsh and cruel. I understand very well the feelings that come from not loving yourself and not feeling loved. I also know what it’s like to pull myself out of the ashes of such a life to create a worthwhile life born of loving myself. I am not perfect at all of the lessons in this book: I write this as a person still on my path to loving myself more, and better.
This book is an effort to share some of the lessons I have learned along the way. I hope you will benefit from them as well. I hope that your love, peace, and joy will continue to grow, each and every day.
~ * ~
“You will never achieve your destiny until you let go of the illusion of control. If you plant a peach seed, it will grow up to be a peach tree. And the fruits will be peaches. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will only get a peach.” ~ Oogway, Kung Fu Panda
Your destiny is to love, starting with yourself. Within you is forever planted the seed of perfect love. Love is part of your eternal makeup. When we are born, we love naturally. As we grow up, we learn to live by society’s standards, forgetting how to love. It becomes necessary for us to unlearn what we’ve learned, and remember how to love.
In school we learn reading, writing, history, arithmetic – not how to love ourselves. Oftentimes parents and church leaders don't teach us how to love ourselves, either. Maybe no one taught them. Unfortunately, we are often surrounded by messages of the opposite of love. We learn things like:
•
I'm not good enough
• I'm worthless
• I’m stupid
•
People don't like me
That’s
just not true! Let me tell you the truth right now:
• You are
beautiful and unique
• You are worthy of love
• You are
talented and special
• You have something valuable to contribute
to the world
Think about it… Why are you seeking lessons for loving yourself? What kinds of feelings are you experiencing that cause you to search for self-love? These may be sadness, loneliness, self-loathing, fear, darkness, heaviness. These are the fruits of un-love.
What are the fruits of Love? Kindness, caring, giving, abundance, joy, peace, connection, light, etc. These are the fruits you seek. How do we obtain these?
That’s what this book is all about. Like any fruit, the seed of self-love requires caring, tending, preparation, patience and effort. Don't fret: the fruits you WILL create are more than worth the effort.
Maybe you love yourself some but feel you could do better. Maybe you feel no love for yourself and want to start at the beginning. It doesn't matter where you are on your path. Turn yourself in the right direction and start taking a step at a time.
~ * ~
“Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps, down new roads, armed with nothing but their own vision.” ~ Ayn Rand
The first thing you must do is open yourself to love, or even just the idea of love. This may not be easy. It requires a degree of letting go. Let go of the belief systems that don't serve you. If a thought or fear makes you feel sad or unloved, why continue holding on to it? Let it go! Create your new belief system, now. Surrender to a new process, one that may seem foreign to you.
Next, believe that you live in an infinite Universe. All the love that you seek IS available to you. You are on the path to loving yourself right now, otherwise you would not be reading this book!
Believe that there is love. There is love for you. Believe there is love within you. If you are not able to believe that yet, then hope for these things. Give in to your hope by practicing the principles of love until they turn into belief and sure knowledge.
If you have difficulty believing there is love in you, just know that it is there. It is that love which is causing you to seek. The love within you is reaching out in an effort to be free!
There are action items in many of the following lessons. Doing these will exercise your mind and give you new ways of viewing the world. The more you do, the more solid your trek into love will be.