MetaFitness:
Your Thoughts Taking Shape
Suzy Prudden
And
Joan Meijer-Hirschland
Copyright © 2010
All rights reserved—Suzy Prudden and Joan Meijer
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by
any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without
the permission, in writing, from the publisher.
Unlimited Possibilities Press
311 Main Street, Suite E
El Segundo, CA 90245
Printed in the United States of America
ISBN Number: 978-1-931191-04-3
Contents
Introduction – How I Created MetaFitness
Chapter 1 – How MetaFitness Can Work for You
What is MetaFitness? · Exercise: Your body as Your Teacher
Chapter 2 – Introduction to the Power of Thought and Metaphysics
Defining Metaphysics · How Your Mind Works · The Subconscious Creator · Identifying Subconscious Thoughts and Decisions · The Powerful Inner Voice · Exercise: Recognizing Your Inner Voice · Exercise: Why Things Go Right or Wrong in Your Life · It is Thought, Not Fact, That Comes First
Chapter 3 – The Metaphysics of Body Parts
What each part of your body represents in your life
Chapter 4 – The Way You feel About Your Body
What It Means When Something Does Not Work · Body Parts Listed Individually.
Chapter 5 – Your Mind At Work
Making Commitments · Unearthing Attitudes About Yourself and Others · Exercise: Observing Others, Observing Yourself
Chapter 6 – How Your Thoughts Sabotage Your Success
Self-Limiting Belief Systems · Exercise: Defining Your Challenges, Parts I & II.
Chapter 7 – Creating a New Perspective
Changing Your Reality · Exercise: Positive Turnarounds · Exercise: Challenging Your Underlying Beliefs
Chapter 8 – Goal Setting
Exercise: The Way I Want My Body to Be Treasure Mapping · How Treasure Mapping Reveals Your Hidden Agendas · Exercise: Goal Setting · Exercise: Setting Tasks.
Chapter 9 – Working With Goals and Tasks
Acknowledging your Accomplishments · Exercise: Goals, Tasks and Acknowledgments
Chapter 10 – Using Affirmations, Visualizations and Exercises
Where Your Are Coming From · Utilizing Numerous Senses for Reprogramming · Exercise: How to Affirm a Better Body · Visualizations for Your Life and for Your Body · Using Affirmations and Visualizations in Concert with Exercise · Exercise: Defining Your Body Parts
Chapter 11 – Affirmations and Visualizations for Body Parts
Chapter 12 – Love Your Good Looks, Acknowledge Yourself, Become What You Want To Be
How I Created MetaFitness
In the ‘60s, 70s and 80s, my reputation in the fitness field was that of the fitness expert's expert. At the same time, my relationship with fitness had been one of struggle, starvation, self-abuse and discomfort. Until 1981, I acted as if fitness, success and self-abuse were synonymous terms. Although I taught that there is no gain in pain, I lived, until that time, a "no pain, no gain" existence. Finally my body and my mental stamina gave out. I just could not live my life in the same way anymore.
The change began in 1981 when I walked out on my husband and a way of life I thought I would live until I died. I came out of my eighteen-year marriage a battered woman. I felt beaten, not simply by a brutal marriage and by my addictions to alcohol, Valium and Soma, but by my continuing bulimia, anorexia, and a conviction that I had to keep producing no matter what I was doing to my body and my mind. It took several years to make peace with my life and my body, and to reshape them the way I wanted them to be. What follows is the process I went through.
From 1981 to 1983, I struggled to keep myself in the fitness business, using methods that I had always known to be traditionally correct. But, after a lifetime of exercising, self-discipline, appalling hard work, and pain – masked by prescription drugs – I found myself unconsciously trying to destroy my career. My relationship with traditional fitness had been so painful that, subconsciously, I knew I had to leave the field.
On a survival level, I used to think that teaching fitness was the only way that I knew how to make a living. On a deeper level, I did not want to teach anymore. On the one hand, I was ruining my business. On the other hand, I continued to try to work successfully in the field. The push-pull of leaving fitness while remaining a fitness expert was disorienting. Fitness was my identity but it no longer served me. In June 1981, I left a life of terror, physical and emotional abuse, loneliness and self-deprecation. When I walked out on that life a whole new world opened for me.
I felt like a genie let out of a bottle. I felt like I needed to do all the things I had never done. I needed to change my look. So I went on a major five-year-long shopping spree. I began a process of learning to play, and allowed myself the joy of living that I had not experienced since I was a small child. I was tearing away at the fabric of my old being, but because I was dealing with the outside, I had no way to put myself back together again. I had spent so many years masking my pain with drugs (Valium and Soma) that I had no foundation of self-esteem on which to build. Although I did not know it at the time, I was deeply depressed and dangerously self-destructive.
Seeing that I was totally out of control, and knowing she couldn't tell me anything, my mother suggested I take a course that she had very much enjoyed. The course was called Silva Mind Control. It was my first step on the path to MetaFitness. In the two weekends I spent learning Silva Mind Control, I began to understand that I was really an okay person. It began to become safe for me to look at what had really happened in my life. Silva Mind Control gave me the first tools with which to change my life and I am forever grateful.
Confronting the monsters of my past was probably one of the most exciting and most painful things I have ever done. To my great surprise, I learned that I was not a horrible person. I also learned that I had a wonderful mind. (Until then I had always thought I was stupid.) Best of all, I learned that I had a great sense of humor. Suddenly I was surrounded by friends. It was a heady time.
I took course after course: Let Go and Live, The Empowerment Workshop, Making Love Work, The Loving Relationships Training, I even did Anthony Robbins Fire Walk Workshop in 1984. I spent weeks at the Omega and Esalen Institutes, and went on Vision Quests with David La Chapelle, camping out in the Colorado Rockies, the California deserts and the rain forests and craters of Hawaii. I spend some time practicing Siddah Yoga, opened myself to Eastern philosophies and even spent a week as a Samurai Warrior, playing George Leonard's Samurai War Game. I spent time with Tim Piering learning N.L.P. (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). I worked with Chérie Carter-Scott and Motivation Management Services, which created the Inner Negotiation Workshop and Leadership and Consultants Trainings. I spent time with Louise L. Hay sharing our ideas and work with the body.
I learned that my belief system created my reality. I took personal responsibility for everything that had happened to me in the past, so that I could release it and never have to experience it again. Gradually I discovered the tools for learning who this person, Suzy Prudden, really is and I began to love myself.
I was still a fitness expert, yet I knew that I was not a traditional fitness expert. The problem was that I had no clear picture of what a fitness expert – who was not a traditional fitness expert – looked like. I knew that I had to teach people to heal their relationship with their bodies, but first I had to heal my own. The faint beginnings of a new kind of fitness took shape in my mind. In 1983, I gave in and sold the New York City exercise studio that had been my creation, my workplace and my identity for over eighteen years.
I spent the next three years trying to figure out what I was to do in the world. I left New York and moved to Los Angeles. I took more courses. I tried and failed to teach fitness.
One day in 1986, I was invited to give a lecture for an organization called The Inside Edge. I had been looking for a way to combine my understanding of metaphysics with my knowledge of physical fitness, knowing somewhere inside that this was my work. But I had no idea how to create it. As I began to speak, with no knowledge of what was to come, a whole new concept, MetaFitness, was born.
MetaFitness is the process of learning that self-love is a natural and healthy state of being. It is possible to look at your body and to find things you like about it, and to find ways that your body serves your life. That may sound strange at the beginning, but if you think of how many things you couldn’t do without your body, it might begin to make a little sense.
Most people with body issues only focus on what they hate about their bodies. They never realize that without the body there is no life. Without the body there is no joy. Your body is your vessel for experience. Think of the absolute most favorite thing you love to do. It could be eating chocolate moose; it could be laughing or singing, or looking at sunsets. It could be petting your cat or dog or kissing your child. Could you do any of those things without your body?
MetaFitness is a way of communicating with your body. MetaFitness gives you the tools to know what’s gong on in your body. It is a process that will allow you to identify and heal what isn’t working for you while you identify and focus on what is working for you. MetaFitness lets you lose weight without struggle and helps you get in shape without pain or discomfort. You create a new relationship with your body if you listen to it, love it, honor it and enjoy it.
MetaFitness is magical. It's a way of passing through Alice's looking glass from the old programming – which taught you to focus on the negative – to a new way of thinking which allows you to make peace with your body by seeing the positive.
Chapter 1
How MetaFitness Can Work For You
"Your results are your teacher."
— Sondra Ray
MetaFitness: Your Thoughts Taking Shape utilizes affirmations, visualizations, self-hypnosis and movement. It combines working with your body (the exterior) and working with your mind (the interior) to heal your relationship with yourself. Your body and the various components of your life (i.e., money, relationships, work, home, etc.) are the out-picturing of your inner self. As you heal your relationship with yourself, your relationship with your body and all other areas of your life begin to shift in a positive direction.
I believe that:
* Your body is the physical manifestation of how you feel about yourself.
* Everything "out there" (situations in your life) is a picture of what's
going on "in here" (inside yourself and your belief system).
* By healing your relationship with yourself, you heal your body and you
heal your life.
Results, such as long-term weight loss, can occur where they have been difficult in the past. Changes in posture are possible, and permanent relief from pain can be experienced where no pathological causes are apparent (and even sometimes when there are pathological causes). Weight, pain and posture problems are usually symptoms of blockages in your life. Look inside for the causes, heal them and the symptoms are released.
Your body serves as a weather vane for what's going on in the rest of your life. If you suddenly have shoulder pain, look at the burdens you carry in your life to see if they are heavier than usual. If you get a sore throat or laryngitis, look to see what you are not saying either to yourself or to an important person in your life. If you put on weight, look to see why you are protecting yourself and what you are protecting yourself from. Your body communicates what is going on before you can see it in your life. Until the cause is rooted out, the symptom will continue. So, allow the symptom to lead you to the cause, and then the cause can be healed.
That is the foundation of MetaFitness and it’s not that easy. In order to heal your body and your life you have to get into action. If you realize that you have pain in your body because you are not exercising, it becomes important to start an exercise program. If you are overweight, changing your eating patterns becomes vital. MetaFitness is not simply a matter of thinking about change; it is a matter of taking action to change.
In metaphysics, it is said, "What you focus on expands," and "Thought is creative. What you believe is true becomes true for you." If you focus on being fat by talking about it, by worrying about it, and by continually trying to do something about it, your body will respond by creating more fat.
For many people, fat is believed to be negative when actually it is something positive. Fat is a life-limiter, but it is also a great protector. It protects some people from unwanted sexual advances. For others, fat addresses the questions, "What would happen if I really became as successful as I want to be? Could I handle it?" Fat can be a boundary-setter. Some people do not know how to protect themselves from the intrusions of others. They do not know how to say "no." In order to be protected, the body takes over and creates a boundary of fat to keep out anyone who gets too close too fast. The body says "no."
For me, extra weight cushioned me during times of extreme stress and feelings of fear as I left one way of life and created a new one. The body fat I developed limited my forward motion and gave me needed time out of the public eye to create and integrate my new work. I did not know it at the time, but the extra weight slowed me down and protected me from further burnout. I learned that fat is my body's way of protecting me during periods of drastic change; it keeps me safe when I am afraid. By reprogramming my mind during these fearful times, and by learning the reasons for my fears, I can let go of my excess weight and keep it off.
MetaFitness is not simply a process for weight loss. It can help you learn to like parts of yourself that, in some cases, you cannot even look at; to listen to your body and respect what it tells you, and to achieve good health and good feelings.
I found in my own life that I was programmed from childhood to ignore what my body told me: "Finish everything on your plate, other people are starving," so I ate when I wasn't hungry. "It's time for bed," but I wasn't sleepy. "Stop wiggling and sit up like a grown-up." "Stop acting like a child." In so many words and experiences, I was told that my body did not know anything, that it did not have any knowledge like the mind did; that it was merely a "thing." And what is worse, that I was a "thing," something to be tolerated and constantly improved.
As I grew up receiving these messages from the adult world, I stopped listening to my own messages. I forgot to pay attention, or even hear, when my body said it was satisfied, or tired. I forgot what it felt like to stop if I was in pain, or if I was becoming ill. My body became a thing to be dealt with rather than something with which I had a relationship.
The way we are taught to disregard those messages from our bodies carries on into our adult lives. When momentous events happen, and we get sick or injured, many times we can look back at the situation and see that our body was warning us long before anything happened.
Until recently, George, a friend and client of mine, was expected to spend the holidays every year with his in-laws with whom he did not get along. Each year as the time approached, he would develop a terrible cold, which he blamed on pre-vacation overwork. One year he threw out his back. Two years ago, as he carried his family's luggage downstairs on the way to the car, he slipped, fell, and broke his leg so badly that it was impossible for him to go to his in-laws. For the first time since his marriage George spent his holidays at home with his wife and kids and they loved it. It was the beginning of a new tradition.
I thought it would have been a lot easier for him to say "no" in the first place, but he did not know that he could, so his body took care of the situation for him. He now spends the holidays traveling with his wife and children. Although he still works extra hard in the pre-vacation period, he no longer gets sick for the holidays. Nor has he thrown his back out again. His wife spends time with her parents when George is back at work. There is no more tension, and the holidays are a happy time of year, instead of something to be endured.
In 1986 my primary relationship was in trouble. Although I was very much in love with Jonathan, the man with whom I was living, I knew that the relationship, as it was, was ending. Fearfully I kept quiet during difficult times, especially during the Christmas holidays. Because I was unwilling to express my feelings, I developed laryngitis and strep throat three days before Christmas. By New Year's Day I was feverish and bedridden (something that is rare for me). My intuition told me that I had to speak; my fear kept me quiet.
By the time all this occurred I had become aware that illness is often the physical manifestation of something else going on in life. Since the throat represents communications, I asked myself the questions, "What am I not saying?" The answer was clear: I had to tell Jonathan that our relationship was not working; I had to take the risk of hurting both of us. As soon as I stated my fears and my concerns to Jonathan, my body began to heal. Jonathan and I did separate, but we are still friends, see each other often, and feel good about each other, our present relationship and ourselves.
This incident taught me to pay attention to my body. Fatigue, pain and injury occur when the self is denied, when you try to override personal will, and particularly when personal survival is at issue. When I listen to my body, pay attention to it, and follow its messages, I am healthy, have a great deal of energy, and can function comfortably in anything I undertake. The body is a "message machine."
I am still learning to recognize my body's signals that something is not working in my life. I still go off course sometimes, but it takes less time to get back on track each time.
Look at your own life. Can you see how your body lets you know when things are not working or when you are not following your instincts? The following exercise will help you learn to listen to yourself and honor your body with appreciation, ease and gratitude.
EXERCISE: Your Body is Your Teacher
A. List two situations when you became ill or injured and the emotional particulars connected to these situations.
Example:
Christmas 1986, I got sick twice during the holiday party season. Both times at a party (laryngitis and sore throat), both times twenty minutes after a fight with my boyfriend.
YOUR TURN
1. ______________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
B. Can you see how, in those situations you, were not listening to your intuition or doing what you knew was best for you?
Example:
Both times I wanted to speak up about the relationship, both times I kept quiet.
YOUR TURN
1. ______________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
C. Can you see how becoming ill or injured worked positively for you?
Example:
Becoming sick showed me I was not being honest with myself.
YOUR TURN
1. ______________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
D. In looking back, what did you learn about yourself at the time? Where were you fearful or blocked in your life?
Example:
I learned it was necessary to speak up for myself regardless of my fears.
YOUR TURN
1. ______________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
2. ______________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________
Your body and your mind have subtle ways of communicating with you. Learning to listen and respond to your body's messages will help you feel good all the time.
Your body plays an integral part in your life. It is not just the family car for trips around town. It is also the golden "all-terrain vehicle" in which you live and create adventures.
Your intuition is your guide. If honored, it will get you where you want to go, even if you are not consciously aware that you want to go there.
When you were a very small child you were fascinated with yourself. You loved every part of yourself unconditionally. You never got upset with yourself. You never made yourself wrong. You knew when you were hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, and you always asked for what you needed. Somewhere along the way you were taught that you did not know what your real needs were and that if you asked for what you wanted you were wrong. Growing up has become a process of giving up that wondrous, knowing child. MetaFitness will help you rediscover that unconditional self-love and wonder.
Affirmation
It's now okay to hear what my body is telling me.
It's now okay to be open to learn from my body.
Chapter 2
Introduction To The Power
Of Thought And Metaphysics
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find,
Knock, and it shall be opened unto you."
— Matthew 7:7
For many years, I believed there was someone or something "out there" doing things to me. My life did not work. I went on diets and gained back eleven pounds for every ten I lost. I applied for jobs I thought were perfect for me but did not get them. I ran out of money and could not make more. I could not seem to attract people into my life who supported and loved me as I wanted to be supported and loved. Then I began studying metaphysics, and my life took on a different perspective. This book starts with an introduction to metaphysics because without that vital piece of information, MetaFitness does not make sense. What I am presenting in this book is a theory that I have accepted as my belief system and as my way of life. By using this theory I have been able to change every singe aspect of my life in a positive direction, especially my relationship with my body.
Metaphysics means: beyond the physical or material.
The basic premise of metaphysics, as we understand it today is: Thought is creative. What you believe to be true, both on a conscious level where you see it, and on a subconscious level where you cannot, becomes your reality.
In other words, you create your life with your thoughts, your beliefs, and the way you express yourself. Your life is 100 percent your responsibility, no matter what other people may be doing to you. The bad news is. There is no one out there to blame. The good news is, because your life is 100 percent your responsibility, you are in charge (not a victim) and you can choose to change. That may not make sense at first, but as you begin to practice this principle, as you see it work, it gets easier. It is a very powerful concept. What makes it powerful is that it works.
How Your Mind (Meta) Works: The Monitor, Critic, or Judge
There is a part of the brain, or the mind, which monitors. It is quite separate and distinct from the practical part, that part of the brain that supervises the body's functions and gets us to appointments on time. The monitor talks incessantly: "You're right." "You're wrong." "You're good." "You're bad." "You're pretty." "You're ugly." "He's nice." “He's good for you." "Yes." "No." "Do." "Don't." "But…" "Now." "Later." "Never." "Why?" "Why did he say that to me?" "Just look at her hair!" "Blondes have more fun." "Men never make passes at girls who wear glasses." "Oh my God, look at your thighs!" It talks and chatters all through the day.
I call it my monkey mind, or my critical voice. The reason for this is because my mind is always chattering and it never seems to leave me alone. What's important to know here is that no matter what your mind is talking about, the subconscious part of your mind hears "I". Whatever is said about anything or anyone else it's always about "I." Let me explain. According to studies of the subconscious mind, there is no picture in the mind for "You," "They," "We" "He," "She" and "It," all the mind ever hears is "I". I=I, You=I, They=I, We=I He=I, She=I even It=I. The subconscious mind cannot judge in others what it cannot perceive in itself, therefore it is all Self.
I have learned to pay attention when I judge other people, because what I am judging in them is usually something I need to look at about myself. I have also learned to listen hard when I try to teach something to others because what I am teaching is usually something I need to learn. This can be tricky at first, but once you catch onto the idea, it's very freeing. Of course, the good part is, when you praise other people your mind also hears the praise as "I," so you are actually praising yourself. If I really want to make myself feel great I write a letter to someone I love, telling them all the things I find wonderful about them. It makes both of us feel good.
Most people believe that their mind-chatter, those thoughts that are in their head much of the day, their monkey mind or critical voice, is real. They give it control over their lives. I certainly did. They think that because they have a thought, then it must be right. I used to believe that my monkey mind – or critical voice – was like the voice of God; it knew something I did not know. But recently, I realized that I made up the critical voice. It came from my brain, my mind, my way of thinking. It is not real, but it used to sit like the devil on my shoulder and tell me all the things I was doing wrong.
The critical mind cannot exist unless you cooperate by believing what it says. As soon as you recognize that it is only monkey mind at work, the insane chatter stops and leaves you alone. Of course, it comes back and tries again in different disguises, but I have found that the more I am able to recognize it as just blabber, the quieter it gets and the more it leaves me alone.
Pretend you burned the toast at breakfast. Your critical voice starts to yell at you. It will set up a barrage of chatter about how bad or wrong you are. You have a choice here. You can believe it, and therefore believe you are bad and wrong, or you can simply notice that you burned the toast. You will probably make new toast no matter how you feel about yourself. It makes more sense to feel okay rather than bad and wrong.
It may take practice, so keep noticing. There will come a time when you have a clear understanding that the critical voice is merely mind-chatter and you do not have to believe it. You do not have to let it rule you again. Whenever you hear it talking to you, thank it for sharing and release your reaction to it. Just remember, the first step is knowing you are okay.
The Subconscious Creator
There is another hidden piece of the mind-puzzle. In addition to the practical part of the brain and the critical voice, there is a part of the brain of which many people are not consciously aware; the subconscious. The subconscious mind is like a black hole. Black holes are collapsed stars. They have the most powerful gravitational pull in the universe, yet we cannot see them. Black holes are identified by their effect on the Universe around them.
Like the black hole, the subconscious cannot be seen. We only know it is there because we see it in action. I sometimes use carbon monoxide as a metaphor for the subconscious. Carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless and tasteless gas, but it can kill. The subconscious is colorless, odorless and tasteless, yet it has near total control over the direction of our lives. The subconscious mind colors our conscious desires.
The subconscious is the real power that controls everything in our lives. It is the power behind the throne. It is our hidden computer program. We have stored information and made decisions about the way everything works based on things we have heard and seen starting at birth and even before. This programming; these beliefs, color our lives.
Identifying Subconscious Thought and Decisions
Our subconscious mind is so subtle that the only way to identify what it is thinking is by looking at the results it has produced; the way our thoughts play out in our lives.
Everything on the outside (situations and experiences) is merely a picture of what is going on inside. To identify the patterns of our lives, it is necessary to look at the results.
Helen, a client of mine, has been on ten thousand diets. (That is possibly a slight exaggeration, but she says it feels like ten thousand.) Every time she goes on a diet, she loses weight. As soon as she goes off her diet, she gains back the weight she lost, plus a few pounds.
There are many scientific theories about weight loss and weight gain. One theory talks about our primitive past, which created a feast and famine survival mechanism in our bodies in the days when there was no refrigeration or reliable food sources. That theory says the more you diet the more your body adjusts, needing less and less food and burning calories slower and slower. Eventually, eating what used to be normal becomes too much and you stop losing weight. As soon as you start eating normally again, you start gaining weight. Another theory says if you created an abundance of fat cells as a child, those fat cells will lie in wait to be filled as an adult. They sit there, waiting to become full, and you can never get rid of them except through liposuction.
All these theories make sense, and they all work as far as the results are concerned: they explain why it is difficult to lose weight. But what if your subconscious is really behind the scene? What if your subconscious has a reason for you to be fat? For example, what if your subconscious has decided that fat is safe and thin is not?
Helen walks around New York City feeling absolutely safe in her over-weight body. Men used to make catcalls and accost her in the subway when she was slender. Now that she is heavy, she feels almost invisible. Helen feels safe when she is fat. Using MetaFitness, Helen learned how to feel safe when she is slender. By following the examples in this book, Helen discovered the reasons why she felt safer as a fat person. She committed herself to make a change, set her goals and then followed through with a MetaFitness program she designed for herself. Subconsciously, Helen no longer has to be fat to feel safe.
The Powerful Inner Voice
There is a part of us which knows what is right and knows what we need to do. It is not a thinking part, not a chattering part, not a dictating part. It is a knowing part. Call it intuition, a deep inner knowing, a gut reaction. Call it the still small voice. It always knows what our right choice is. It is our guide. Many people believe it is God's way of communicating with us. All too often we discount this voice or this knowing until after a disaster has occurred.
During the past few years, listening to this inner voice has enabled me to create a very exciting and fruitful life. People sometimes will ask me why I do things and I can only answer, "It feels right." When I am willing to listen to my inner voice and not be afraid, I always know what to do, even without a reason or when it looks risky and makes no logical sense.
A few years ago, Mary, one of my clients went to work as a temporary secretary at a small public relations firm. Although she had no real interest in public relations, the owner of the business said he recognized her intelligence and wanted to train her to become a public relations account executive, earning lots of money. One month into her employment she recognized that this man was emotionally abusive, and he was not training her as he promised. Although she stayed on the job, Mary's survival instinct was triggered. Her inner voice told her to leave, but her critical voice – or mind-chatter – told her that he was her boss and so he must be right. Her critical voice became a partner in the abuse while her inner voice cried, unheeded, for her to leave. It was not until Mary became physically ill that she finally left the job. Her body responded to her inner voice even though she, herself, could not.
In retrospect, Mary can remember that when she first started the job her inner voice said, "This is going to be very bad and you ought to leave." But her critical voice, or mind-chatter, said "You always run away from difficult situations, you can make this one work. Think of the money. At least you will have a career." Her body recognized the correct choice; getting sick was her body's way of making Mary listen to her inner voice.
Most of us have experienced our inner voice, or intuition. Chances are it has been guiding you for years. How often have you said, "Something told me that was not a good idea," or "I knew I ought to have done it.” I know every time, but I do not always listen.
The difference between the critical voice and the inner voice is that the critical voice usually speaks about fears or survival, powerlessness or negativity. It also sounds very logical. The inner voice often has no logic at all. It is just a quiet knowing, it has no judgment; it just is. It is not attached to fear but very often appears to be the thing you least want to hear because it appears to be the hardest choice. In the long run, it is the best choice.
In the beginning it may be necessary to practice listening to your inner voice. Just begin by noticing it and seeing what happens when you follow it and when you do not. For awhile, you may have to identify your knowing after the fact. It might seem like you know not to do something, but you do it anyway, with an unpleasant result that could have been avoided if you had listened to your inner voice. Or you may have an idea, and although it seems ridiculous at the time because you have no real reason to follow through on it, you do it anyway and the results are phenomenal. Listen to your inner voice as much as possible. Create a conscious awareness of it. Learn to trust it.
EXERCISE: Recognizing Your Inner Voice
A. Write down an example of when you intuitively knew something. (Hearing a voice may be misleading. Usually it is a feeling or a random thought that feels like you know something. Quite often it is something you disregard immediately.)
Example:
On a recent trip to New York, I had to buy some rain boots. For some reason I knew I would find the perfect boots at Alexander's. I never shop at Alexander's and yet I knew I would find the boots there.
YOUR TURN
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
A. Did you listen to your inner knowing at the time?
Example:
No. Although I "knew" I would find the boots at Alexander's, and it was only two blocks away, I walked forty blocks to Macys.
YOUR TURN
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
A. What happened when you did not listen to your inner voice?
Example:
I did not find the boots at Macys, or anywhere else, and I walked forty blocks in the rain. Then I went to Alexander’s and found the boots.
YOUR TURN
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
A. Can you see how you could have done it differently?
Example:
Yes. I could have gone to Alexander's in the first place, which my inner knowing told me to do.
YOUR TURN
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
A. What would have happened if you had listened and acted?
Example:
If I had listened I would have gone to Alexander's in the first place. I finally did go to Alexander's where I found the rain boots. I could have had dry feet and boots in twenty minutes instead of wet feet, tired legs, a grumpy disposition and ruined leather boots after three hours.
YOUR TURN
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
A. Can you see a positive result from listening to your inner voice?
Example:
Had I listened, I would have saved time and had what I wanted immediately.
YOUR TURN
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
This book will show you the difference between "mind-chatter" and the "still small voice," the "critical voice" and "the inner knowing." You will learn how to listen to that still small voice, even when it seems silly. The written techniques will help you begin to identify your subconscious beliefs by looking at the results those beliefs cause in your life. This awareness will help you reprogram your life on a subconscious, as well as a conscious, level and enable you to achieve the goals that have eluded you.
Mind-chatter is very subtle. It is a tool of the subconscious mind. It colors your thoughts with hidden messages. The subconscious mind, with the chatter that it uses to communicate, is like the highly sophisticated computer in the movie War Games. Because of a teenage hacker, the computer – that controls the American Defense System – begins playing a game called "War," which it is programmed to win. America is brought to the brink of World War III because no one in authority knows that the computer is playing a game, no one knows that the computer is in charge. Sometimes our lives are similar to that movie: We do not realize that our every thought is colored by something with a hidden agenda – our subconscious.
When you learn to recognize some of your subconscious patterns, and play the "game of life" consciously, you can reprogram your subconscious. In so doing, you can change your relationship with your body. Not only will you be able to like your body in ways that you have not been able to in the past, but you will stop some of your more self-destructive behaviors and allow your body to change.
Your relationship with your body parallels your relationship with you partner, significant other, money, work, family, everything in your life. It is the physical manifestation of your relationship with yourself and your beliefs.
Think of your subconscious beliefs as pillars holding up the whole structure of your life. There are actually very few bottom lines, or support pillars, in anyone's life. The thoughts that affect one thing will affect all other things. If you can figure out what your subconscious mind is telling you, you will suddenly see what is keeping you from having a body you can love.
Examples of bottom-line beliefs are: "I am not good enough." "I am unwanted." "I am unlovable." "I never have enough." "I always hurt people." "People always hurt me." "I am a victim." "I am bad." But, underlying most bottom-line beliefs is one belief: "I am not okay."
I will show you how to overcome that "not okay" belief as it refers to your body. As you develop a belief in your body that you can accept, you will develop a relationship with yourself that feels good. This relationship will spill over into all your other relationships. The final result will be the creation of the successful, happy life, which you want and which you richly deserve.
EXERCISE: Why Things Go Right or Wrong in Your Life
The way to identify the subconscious part of the mind is to become aware of the things that consistently go right or wrong in your life.
A. Write three things that consistently go right in your life (e.g., you never have to wait for a bus or subway train, you always find a parking space, you always wear a size eight no matter how much you eat).
Example:
1. I always find the perfect home to live in. It is always beautiful and exactly what I want and need.
2. I always have enough money to pay my bills and support myself comfortably.
3. My friends are extremely intelligent and very successful. They are always the leaders in whichever group I happen to join.
YOUR TURN
1. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
B. Write three things that consistently go wrong in your life (e.g., you always have to wait for a bus or subway, you never find a good parking space, you are always a size 22 or 24 no matter how little you eat).
Example:
1. Other people know more than I do and therefore I am not as successful as I'd like to be.
2. I never seem to be able to get my weight below 150 pounds
3. I never seem to be able have a relationship and a successful career at the same time.
YOUR TURN
1. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
B. Write down your beliefs. Be willing to acknowledge that you have a belief (that you always or never wait, or find a parking space, or gain weight). Can you see that you make that belief stronger by constantly thinking it or saying it aloud to other people? For example: I can't ever seem to lose weight," or "I'll never be a size eight," or "I barely eat any thing and I still gain weight." Are you willing to see that the belief is there, and that it appears to be based on observation of established fact?
Question: What always works for you?
Example:
1. I believe that I can always have the home of my dreams.
2. Although I fear that I will not have enough money, I know that I always will.
3. Because of my intelligence and leadership ability, I always attract intelligent people to be my friends.
YOUR TURN
1. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Question: What does not work out for you?
Example:
1. I believe I do not know enough to be a true success.
2. I cannot weigh less than 150 pounds and remain safe and grounded.
3. If I have a relationship I have to give up my career.
YOUR TURN
1. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
3. ____________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
It Is Thought, Not Fact, That Comes First
* First you think you never have to wait for a bus;
* Then you never have to wait for a bus;
* Then you notice that you never have to wait for a bus;
* Then it becomes a fact that you never have to wait;
* Then you begin saying that you never have to wait for a bus, which reinforces the thought that you never have to wait for a bus.
* First I think I can have the house of my dreams;
* Then I begin to find the houses I dream of every time I look;
* Then I notice that I always find the perfect house;
* The it becomes a fact that I always find the perfect house;
* Then I begin saying that I always find the perfect house, which reinforces the thought that I always find the perfect house.
The concept that the thought comes first is one of the most powerful concepts in the world today, because if the thought comes first, then you can change your reality by changing your mind. You can be in charge of your reality. You can literally change your life. If you have the thought that you are fat, you can change that thought. When you do, your body and actions will follow the new instructions. It takes practice and work. It does not happen just by saying it once to yourself and expecting results. It does take time, but it works.
Let me say a word about time. Sometimes change can happen in an instant. You think it and it happens. That’s a miracle and miracles do happen. More often, change takes time. Change is like a huge ship plowing through the water. It takes at least the length of the ship to stop or change direction. You have spent a lifetime with these beliefs. They are subtle, hidden and many of them are based on early perceptions of survival. It takes time to change them. But since you're not going anywhere, you have the time.
While working on your relationship with your body, you will develop new relationships with success, with money and with people. The subconscious underpinning is the same for the body as it is for all things.
Affirmation
It's now okay to be 100 percent in charge
of my life and my body.
They can be whatever I want them to be.
Chapter 3
The Metaphysics Of Body Parts
"The Spirit inspires, the Will responds to inspiration, and together they experience
in the Body. Body is the manifestationof Spirit and Will."
— channeled by Ceanne DeRohan
Sometimes the only way to figure out what thoughts are governing your life is to look at the results of those thoughts (your life as you are living it) and work backward. If you tell yourself that you are a successful businessperson and your business keeps going under, maybe you have a subconscious belief that you are a failure.