Copyright
2011
by KIM OLVER &
SYLVESTER
BAUGH
Smashwords Edition
Chicago, Illinois
Leveraging Diversity at Work: How to Hire, Retain and Inspire a Diverse Workforce for Peak Performance and Profit ©2006 by Kim Olver & Sylvester Baugh
All rights reserved
Published by: Inside Out Press PO Box 2666 Country Club Hills, IL 60478 insideoutpress.com
Ordering info: 708-957-6047 info@coachingforexcellence.biz
Cover design: Dunn + Associates Design Interior design & typesetting: Folio Bookworks
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form whatsoever, by photography or xerography or by any other means, by broadcast or transmission, by translation into any kind of language, nor by recording electronically or otherwise, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in critical articles or reviews.
Printed in the U.S.A.
Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Olver, Kim.
Leveraging diversity at work : how to hire, retain and inspire a diverse workforce for peak performance and profit / Kim Olver & Sylvester Baugh. -- Chicago, Ill. : Inside Out Press, 2006.
p. ; cm.
ISBN-13: 978-0-9774388-4-6 ISBN-10: 0-9774388-4-8 Includes bibliographical references and index.
1. Diversity in the workplace. 2. Employees--Recruiting.
3. Employee retention. 4. Personnel management.
5. Multiculturalism. I. Baugh, Sylvester. II. Title.
HF5549.5.M5 O58 2006 658.3008--dc22 0607
Contents
vii Introduction 1 Chapter 1 — What Is Culture? 9 Chapter 2 — Cultural Factors
19 Chapter 3 — Why We Connect Visually 29 Chapter 4 — Values, Beliefs and Righteousness 39 Chapter 5 — Myths 49 Chapter 6 — Stereotypes 59 Chapter 7 — Prejudice 69 Chapter 8 — Discrimination and Oppression 79 Chapter 9 — Majority Privilege 89 Chapter 10 — Identity Development 99 Chapter 11 — Valuing Oneself
105 Chapter 12 — Leaving Your Comfort Zone 113 Chapter 13 — Compromising our Culture 121 Chapter 14 — Communication 131 Chapter 15 — Connecting Through Similarities and
Celebrating Differences
139 Chapter 16 — Diversity at Work 147 Chapter 17 — Hiring the Diversity You Need 157 Chapter 18 — Retaining the Diversity You Need 171 Chapter 19 — Inspiring and Leveraging Diversity 181 Chapter 20 — Making the Commitment 195 Notes 201 Index 205 Final Thoughts
Acknowledgements
e’d
like to start by thanking Marcella Finnerty, without her
there would likely be no Leveraging Diversity at Work. Marcella
attended one of our diversity workshops and asked Kim afterwards
if she could recommend some reference materials that approached
diversity as we did during our workshop. Kim didn’t have any answers
for her. She didn’t know of any so that night, Kim decided she would
write this book. And that was it’s conception.
We also need to thank each other for sharing our lives, perceptions and experiences. Without that open sharing, we wouldn’t grow and evolve. We are eternally grateful for the learning opportunities.
Next, we need to thank our Reality Therapy and Choice Theory® instructors and friends. Our ideas on diversity have been shaped by our training in Choice Theory®, which has been taught to us by its founder, Dr. William Glasser. Those Reality Therapists who have influenced our growth and development are: Dr. William Glasser, Nancy Buck, Al Katz, Linda Harshmann, Cathy Curtiss, Steven English, Tom Smith, Marty Price, Pat Robey, Dick Hawes, Bob Sullo, Ellen Gélinas, Bob Hoglund, Bob Wulbolding, Denise Hunter, Fitz-George Peters and Jon Erwin.
Over the years, we had wonderful supervisors who saw our vision and supported the work we did in the area of diversity—Linda Solano, Gary Leofanti, Teresa Storer and Bernadette Maune.
We thank anyone who has even been in our diversity workshops because we always learn something new whenever we come together with a new group of people. Our own lives are enhanced and we gain new material for future writing and educating.
We want to acknowledge Dr. R.E.S.P.E.C.T., also known as Marcus
C. Gentry, for the chapter he added to this book, as well as the contribution he makes to the struggle for equality everywhere and the specific education he provides young men of color.
We want to thank our friends and family who provided us with material for our book—Patty Hunt, Dave Olver, Kyle Olver, Lawanda Baugh, Kayla Baugh, Takiya Caradine, Chester Jackson, Debbie Street and many others.
We want to thank the pioneers in the field of diversity who came before us. It is on their great shoulders that we stand.
There were also those who helped us bring the book to life by reading chapters and offering their help and suggestions—Nancy Hankins, Denise Daub, Jane Elliott, Sondra Thiederman, and Leslie Wright.
And last but not least is our team of professionals who went above and beyond in service delivery—John Eggan, publishing educator; Liz Tufte, interior designer; Graham Van Dixhorn, copywriter; Kathi and Hobie Dunn, cover designers; and Despina Gurlides, our phenomenal editor. Without these professionals and their dedication to their craft, our book would be sitting in boxes in our garages instead of flying off the shelves.
We are so excited to be learners in this diversity journey with you. We sincerely hope our message will penetrate all that is happening around you in such a way that you will embark on your own journey. Do one small thing each day that will help bring people closer together instead of pulling them apart. Perhaps our paths will one day cross.
Introduction
ould
you like to expand your business? Would you like your
business to grow in character, as well as profit? Are you ready
to invest in your business? This book was written to give you the tools
to do just that. Leveraging Diversity at Work is a concept that will propel
you and your company to the next level.
Companies often recognize the need for diversity training after a major incident. Sometimes this incident is as harmless as a team not functioning well together due to differences amongst its members. Other times this incident may be as serious as a discrimination lawsuit with expensive litigation costs. Diversity training can act as a preventive measure, decreasing the likelihood of such incidents happening.
While many companies recognize the value of diversity training, they tend to stop too soon. A diversity initiative is going to require much more than an annual training. It will require preparing your employees’ minds and hearts to embrace difference. This does not occur in a single day’s training.
Our book is designed to start at a very basic level. The early chapters are written to help even the most conservative members of your workforce understand what it may be like for a member of a minority culture. We work at helping people develop the empathy necessary to understand that minorities are suffering as a result of inequity and injustice.
Until your employees begin to develop some empathy for the other side— majority culture for minorities, as well as minorities for the majority culture—it is unlikely that any amount of training will help the situation. When people enter a new situation with their hearts and minds already closed, it is almost impossible to get them to consider another way. Our hope is that this book will open people to a new way of relating to members of other cultures.
Dr. Adela A. Allen once said, “We should acknowledge differences, we should greet differences, until difference makes no difference anymore.” 1 Dr. Allen is acknowledging the importance of difference but is advocating that we appreciate and honor differences until certain differences will no longer be associated with great power. In this book, we provide information that shows the importance of utilizing diversity to grow your business. We explain the importance of the majority, as well as the minority culture making changes to bring about an effective diversity mix. We share many of our personal experiences because we believe that they will enlighten and encourage you to move in the direction of embracing diversity.
We (Kim and Sylvester) continue to learn from each other everyday, as well as from the people we have in our diversity trainings, and those we meet in our everyday lives. We share our stories because they were pivotal learning experiences for us, and we hope you may vicariously share in that learning process. We want you to know that putting yourself “out there” on a cultural competence journey can at times be terrifying, but it is also hugely rewarding. We don’t always do things perfectly. We have made and continue to make many mistakes as we go. There is no perfection on this path. We hope that you, like us, will embrace the concept of learning from your mistakes, because there will be more than a few.
We believe that the solution to the diversity divide lies with majority and minorities alike. However, although all parties involved must play a significant role in rectifying the problem, the majority culture needs to take the initiative in moving toward diversity.
In this book, you will find confirmation for the many things that you are already doing right. Celebrate these things! However we hope that you will not only look for areas of strength that your company has, but that you will also critically examine those areas of your business where you can make improvements. Taking an analytical, objective look at your company’s policies, practices, and informal networks may be difficult, but it is absolutely necessary if you are serious about moving your company to a position where its diversity can be leveraged.
This book will encourage you to look inside to find the places that are blocking you and your staff from effectively embracing diversity. Once you are able to identify these obstacles, this book will provide the steps that you and your employees can take to obtain and maintain an effective, harmonious, diverse workforce.
Many companies have chosen to avoid the idea of embracing diversity for two main reasons: They do not recognize the need for it and the effort is too great. In this book, we make a case as to why it is imperative to create and maintain a diverse workforce, and we simplify the process for you.
Leveraging Diversity at Work is about looking at yourself and your business in a more impartial way. The main asset of your business is your workforce. The more diverse the workforce, the more diverse your customer base. As you turn these pages, you will begin a journey toward understanding the power of diversity. Enjoy your journey. Our hope is that after reading this book you will be ready to see how
difference can make a difference in your bottom line!
Kim
Olver Sylvester Baugh
What Is Culture?
hen
someone asks you to share an important aspect of your
culture, what comes to mind? Kim remembers the first time
someone asked her that question. As a member of the white, major
ity culture in the United States, her first thought was that she doesn’t
have a “culture”; it is all simply a part of her life.
Upon closer scrutiny, the first place she looked for her culture was in her ethnic background: German, Scotch, Welsh, and English. However, she couldn’t think of anything that was a part of her childhood that came from her ethnic heritage. The truth was she didn’t know much about her heritage. She didn’t know what aspects might be attributable to different ethnic backgrounds. All Kim knew was what occurred in her immediate family.
Culture is not Always Conscious
We are often unaware of our culture because it is so much a part of who we are; we simply think of our culture as “normal.” It is something we take for granted—similar to the air we breathe. Culture simply is. The only time we really become acutely aware of our culture is when we leave it and enter another’s, or when we come into contact with someone who does things differently than we do. Then, and only then, do we really begin to think about culture. Often our total unquestioning acceptance of our culture may tell us that people who do things differently are “wrong” and not simply “different.” By strongly accepting our own culture, we may alienate others with different cultural backgrounds.
Culture is Everything
After having been exposed to people from different cultures, Kim now understands that every human being has a culture—even she does. She now possesses the ability to examine her own culture and the things that make her uniquely Kim. Culture is a total way of life. It’s everything that is familiar to us: our religion, beliefs, values, food, clothing, hairstyle, celebrations, family relationships, discipline practices, dating patterns, holidays, gender roles, and hobbies. Everything that comprises what we know, what we are exposed to, how we do things, and what feels right to us, is part of our culture. The person we are—and the person we are becoming—is greatly influenced by our cultural information and experiences.
People typically think of race and ethnicity when first asked about their culture. Because of the long and chronicled history of race relations in this country, it is almost impossible to avoid this discussion. We are not suggesting that racial issues do not exist in the United States. However, we’d like people to expand this definition to include the sum total of all one’s life experiences, including spiritual beliefs, political affiliation, parenting style, geography, education level, socio-economic status, gender roles, media valued and viewed, customs, traditions, holidays, family interactions, travel and exposure to other cultures, criminal activity in the neighborhood, sexual practices, and community involvement. The list is endless; to learn everything about someone else’s culture is a monumental, if not impossible, task.
Culture Starts at Birth
Culture begins at the moment of birth. Most of us, in the United States, were born in a hospital. However, being born in a hospital is not the only option. Personal choice or circumstance may dictate a hospital, a midwife at home, an unassisted birth at home, or a birth in an alley or public restroom somewhere. Our first experiences immediately after birth begin to shape who we become. It may even be argued that our culture begins in the uterus, based upon the environment in the womb.
For the purpose of this discussion, let’s say culture begins at the moment of birth. Imagine a Caucasian woman who gives birth to a Caucasian baby girl and then gives her up for adoption to an African-American couple. Will that child grow up in a Caucasian or an African-American culture? That child will be raised in an African-American culture. Culture is learned; it is not biological or innate.
The process by which we acquire our culture is known as acculturation. This is not a conscious process used to shape the child, but a subconscious one based on prior knowledge and experience of what is best for the upbringing of that child.
Our Judgments of Others Originate in our Culture
This is why we often find ourselves judging how others discipline their children in public. You are sitting in a restaurant with your family enjoying a nice family meal, and directly across from your table is another family also enjoying a family meal. The children of the other family are speaking loudly, throwing food, and not using “proper” table manners. You become annoyed with this family and ask to be moved. Now that you have moved, you begin to judge their behavior. You wonder how people could allow their children to act in such a way in public. Is it also possible that they are wondering why your family is so quiet and reserved? Because of acculturation, each
family has a different way of behaving.
In Beyond Culture, Edward T. Hall states, “Culture is man’s medium; there is not one aspect of human life that is not touched and altered by culture.”1 Culture determines the way we think, feel, act, perceive the world, respond to situations, and problem solve. Culture consists of values, beliefs, and rules of conduct. Culture reflects traditions that have been passed from one generation to another. Culture is dynamic and changes over time.
In 2001, Kim traveled with a group of colleagues to Australia. When they exited the airport in Sydney, one of her colleagues said, “Look, they drive on the wrong side of the road here!” Wrong is a very strong word with lots of judgment and self-righteousness attached. Kim wondered what might have happened if her friend had attempted to drive on her “right” side of the road in Australia! What seems strange or wrong in one cultural context is exactly the correct thing to do in another. Imagine instead the simple statement, “Look, they drive on the left side of the road here!”
What seems logical, sensible, important, and reasonable in one culture may seem irrational, ridiculous, unimportant, and unreasonable to an outsider. For example, Kim remembers a time when Sylvester was visiting her home in rural Pennsylvania. Sylvester, Kim, and her two children had left the house for the day to go on an outing. When they returned, Kim discovered that her kitchen door had been left open. She asked the boys, “Which one of you was the last one out of the house and didn’t close the door?” And then she proceeded to walk into the house.
Sylvester became very agitated and told her not to go into the house but to call the police instead. Kim had no idea why he was so worried and thought he was seriously overreacting! After all, it was obvious to her what had happened. Someone had simply failed to close the door. However, in Sylvester’s world, it was more likely that someone had invaded her house and may still have been inside. Sylvester and Kim come from two different cultures—urban and rural. Although they found each other’s concern, or lack thereof, unusual, in their respective cultures their unique positions made perfect sense.
At some point in our life we take all the knowledge we’ve acquired and all the experiences we’ve had and develop a code of values that feels totally right for us. This is a normal, healthy process of development. However, the next step we generally take although normal, is definitely not healthy or helpful toward building relationships with people who are different from us. After we decide what values are right for us, we take a gigantic step forward and develop ideas and strong opinions about what is right for other people as well. This is where the danger occurs. Can we ever really know what is right for another person? How can we, if we haven’t had exactly the same experiences? Values are very subjective: There is no right or wrong; there is simply what’s right or wrong for the person who holds them.
Co-Culture Value Clashes
Within all cultures lie smaller groups of people who band together because of similar values, beliefs, and practices. We used to call these sub-cultures but now the politically correct term is either co-culture or mini-culture, to avoid the prefix “sub” which implies beneath or less than.
People can belong to many different co-cultures within their over-arching culture. For example, Kim identifies herself as an American—her main, overarching culture. She is also a Caucasian, a Methodist, a parent, an entrepreneur, a musician, a counselor, an author, a liberal democrat, and a heterosexual female, among other things. Depending on circumstances, she will draw from these cocultures differently.
When the United States was attacked on September 11, 2001, Kim experienced a value conflict based on her association with different co-cultures. Initially, as a member of the American culture she, like many others, purchased a flag to put up in her yard and a decal for the window of her car, to illustrate the unity this country was feeling through patriotism. As an American Kim was shocked, outraged, and sought retribution. Like the majority of Americans, she wanted revenge. Find Bin Ladin and end terrorism!
However, soon after, her counseling ethics and Christian values chimed in to add different voices to the melee. What would God want us to do? Jesus said, “Turn the other cheek”2 and did not endorse the Old Testament’s, “an eye for an eye” philosophy.3 Then, as a counselor, Kim began to wonder how people could hate Americans so much to perpetrate such an extreme act of violence. It was not that difficult to get a preliminary answer when she began thinking how the “have-nots” in this world have tended to dislike and even hate those who have. However, she believes that there is much we still don’t understand due to the incredible lack of accurate and conclusive information that exists.
Kim does know that if her child were being bullied by someone much bigger and stronger than he is, she would advise him to defend himself in any way possible. When fighting someone with an unfair advantage, the rules of fair combat make no sense. Is there a parallel? Kim doesn’t know, but she does believe in Stephen Covey’s 5th Habit of Highly Effective People: “Seek first to understand; then to be understood.”4
Understanding another’s culture can be complex; it requires a great deal of time and effort. As we will discuss later in the book, we attempt to understand and categorize others by creating, in our minds, who we think they are and what they stand for. Without taking the time to get to know them, we formulate an opinion and then believe we know and understand them.
We use the 9-11 example not to provide an analysis of the World Trade Center attack, but to offer the understanding that values may conflict with each other, depending on one’s culture and membership in various co-cultures. When this occurs, much thought and deliberation are required to sort it all out. We may even resign from a particular co-culture, if the conflict becomes too great.
In the world of business, one of the biggest cultural conflicts concerns time. Sylvester remembers he would get very angry when clients didn’t show up on time for their appointment. He would pace the floor and peer through his blinds right up until the point they arrived. This behavior was based on the fact that his cultural belief is that 10:00 o’clock means exactly 10:00—not five minutes later. In his culture, tardiness is sometimes considered a sign of disrespect. If he transfers his perception of tardiness to others, then this affects how he views them. This can and does create conflict for many co-workers, managers, and administrators.
Although culture is a big part of our existence, it is not given the degree of attention it deserves in the workplace. Cultural differences are at the heart of the problems within most companies. Since many of the people who work together have different cultural backgrounds, there are going to be some challenges.
Sylvester once worked for a company that provided social services to low-income residents. Since there were few employees, everyone worked long hours to keep the company running. The problem was that some people believed they worked harder than others. However, those who were accused of not working as hard believed that they were working just as hard as everyone else—their acculturation of work was just different. Each side was trying to prove that their cultural position was the correct one.
Think about a time when you had a disagreement with someone you loved. The argument may have gotten very heated and you may have become emotional. Because you cared about this person, a part of you really wanted to reconcile. You remembered how it felt when you and this person were in sync and communicating well. You laughed together, you joked together, and sometimes you even cried together. Why can’t you find your way back there? You argue, you raise your voice, you may even use profanity, but in your heart you want the peace and calm of the relationship you remember— but there is something that is prohibiting you from getting there. Even though you can remember the good feelings, you can’t seem to overcome your acculturation which tells you to convince others to see things the way you do—the “right” way.
Culture can Inhibit Objectivity
We typically don’t examine other cultures from an objective point of view; we examine them based on what we know and what feels comfortable. It is our early childhood cultural lessons that set the tone for everything that we do and how we do it. Imagine being in an office where you are the only person who speaks English. Aside from the fact you would have difficulty communicating, you might tend to feel out of place—not because you don’t speak their language but because they don’t speak yours. You would believe your language is the best one and you wouldn’t want to have to change or give up your language. You might allow your thoughts to lean towards having everyone else change, as opposed to you changing. Although there are times when the majority will influence a person to assimilate, acculturation will encourage that person to remain rooted in his or her culture and to be certain he or she is right.
Our ability to connect and stay connected in an effective way which satisfies our needs is dependent upon our ability to become more objective. Our culture has shaped us, but we must understand that it is only right for us and not everyone else. When we can become more accepting of different cultures, we will have a better chance of establishing more harmonious relationships. By taking a more objective look at our culture, we give ourselves the opportunity to grow, and we allow others the opportunity to be who they are.
The next chapter will present different cultural factors and characteristics, and will discuss how these characteristics strongly influence our thoughts and behaviors in interpersonal exchanges with other people.
Cultural Factors
here
are many factors to consider when examining culture. We would like to
discuss two main types of factors, which have different and
complex effects on people:
the primary and secondary dimensions of diversity
the visible and invisible characteristics of culture
Primary and Secondary Dimensions of Diversity
Primarydimensionsofdiversityareunalterableandhaveanextremely powerful effect on a person. These are the characteristics that a person has no choice about and cannot be changed, such as: race, gender, age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and certain physical abilities and qualities.
While there are extreme examples where these factors have been changed, these exceptions are quite rare. Transgendered people have been known to change their gender, for example. Others alter the appearance of their age through cosmetic procedures, but no medical procedure has yet been able to actually change a person’s age. It has also been argued that sexual orientation can be changed. However, while people may be able to change their sexual behavior, their attraction to a specific gender, or in the case of bisexuals to both genders, remains unchanged.
It is our belief that a person’s sexual orientation is a biological/ genetic attraction that cannot be altered by a sheer act of will. How would it feel if society suddenly decided that homosexuality was the
“right” way to be, and everyone who was heterosexual had to engage in homosexual relationships or else experience severe consequences? Ridiculous! While people might be able to engage in homosexual activity if enough societal pressure is applied, the fact doesn’t change that their preference is for members of the opposite sex.
The secondary dimensions of diversity are also significant in shaping a person’s life, but these can be altered. Some examples are sexual behavior, choice of profession, socioeconomic status, military experience, marital status, location of home, religious beliefs, educational background, parental status, and political affiliation. As children we usually can’t make these decisions for ourselves, and are influenced by the decisions that adults make for us. But as adults we have the privilege of making some decisions and choices in these areas.
Janet Elsea’s research as documented in her book, 4 Minute Sell, is very interesting.1 Her research discovered the nine most important characteristics noticed by a person when first meeting someone new. In order of importance, they are: skin color, gender, age, appearance, facial expressions, eye contact, movement, personal space, and touch.
When we first encounter a person, we make decisions about how we will interact with him or her based on these nine characteristics. The first three items on the list fall into the category of primary dimensions of diversity. This means that we are primarily making assessments about people based upon conditions over which they have no control. We don’t know about you, but Kim doesn’t want to be judged solely on the fact that she is a white, 45 year-old female; similarly Sylvester prefers to be judged on characteristics other than his being a black, 44 year-old male.
The next six items on the list are culturally determined, which means that they are neither right nor wrong. These characteristics are simply what is comfortable and familiar in our world as we know and experience it. Should we be judging people based on these characteristics? We don’t think so. We believe that we need to get to know people individually, so that our assessments of them have some depth and relevant content.
Visible and Invisible Characteristics
As we develop, we begin to recognize what is appealing to our eyes. We develop size preference. We develop hair length preference. We develop ethnic preference. Visible characteristics become very important to us. We begin to determine the kind of person with whom we would like to spend our lives, based on visible characteristics.
Many of these decisions are based on what we have been exposed to in the media. Magazines and television inundate us with information on looks. Commercials that promote beauty products and hair growth formulas can be seen all over the television. Even the ads promoting health spas typically promote how good your body will look if you become a member.
In her book, First Impression Best Impression, Dr. Janet G. Elsea reports that people focus on what they can see.2 We are a visually driven society. You may have heard people say that looks don’t matter; however, society and the media have put a premium on looking good. Most of our impressions of people are determined by what we see or hear from others and the media.
Information from the Social Issues Research Centre3 confirms that the visual plays a major role in how we are viewed and treated:
Attractive children are more popular, both with classmates and teachers. Teachers give higher evaluations to the work of attractive children and have higher expectations of them, which has serendipitously been shown to improve the attractive child’s academic performance.
Attractive applicants have a better chance of getting jobs, and of receiving higher salaries. (One U.S.
study found that taller men earned approximately $600 more per inch than shorter executives.)
• In court, attractive people are found guilty less often. When found guilty, they receive less severe sentences.
This bias for beauty operates in almost all social situations. We believe in the “what is beautiful is good” stereotype. We have an irrational but deep-seated belief that physically attractive people possess other desirable characteristics such as intelligence, competence, social skills, confidence, and even moral virtue. (The good fairy/ princess is always beautiful, while the wicked witch/stepmother is always ugly.) The visible is extremely important to us. This is why cosmetic procedures are so popular.
The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS), a national not-for-profit organization for education and research in cosmetic plastic surgery, annually conducts the nation’s most authoritative survey of U.S. physicians performing cosmetic procedures. It reports that the number of cosmetic procedures in the United States increased by 44% in 2004, reaching nearly 11.9 million. Of these, the number of surgical procedures increased 17%, while the number of non-surgical procedures increased 51% from the previous year.4 The most popular surgical procedure was liposuction; the most frequently performed non-surgical procedure was Botox injection.
“I believe at least some of this upward trend may be attributable to increased media coverage of plastic surgery in 2004,” says ASAPS President Peter Fodor, MD, of Los Angeles. “People have had many more opportunities to see, first hand, what plastic surgery is like and what it can do for others. That can be a strong incentive for them to seek the same benefits by having cosmetic procedures themselves.”
Although the visible characteristics are important to us, there are more powerful invisible human characteristics that we would like to discuss. When you get beyond a person’s size, eye color, hair color, and overall beauty, there are other attributes that will play a part in the overall assessment of an individual. The difficulty with these characteristics is that they are well hidden, and may not be seen until a commitment has been made.
When people apply for jobs, they take time to enhance and accentuate their visible characteristics. They dress well, their hair and nails are done, and they present themselves in a way that might be appealing to their prospective employer, to increase their chances of employment. Many times this works, but the employer doesn’t know about the invisible characteristics of the individual. What are their values? What are their morals? Our values and morals play a significant role in how we view others. Our invisible characteristics provide the motivation behind all of the visible behaviors in which we engage. They are what drive us.
On April 14th, 1912, a vessel hailed as “unsinkable,” the Titanic, sank after colliding with an iceberg. Because ice is slightly less dense than water, only about one ninth of the total mass of an iceberg projects above the water; the rest of the iceberg lies concealed beneath the water. We can compare the visible and the invisible characteristics of a person to an iceberg. The tip of the iceberg represents the visible characteristics, while the portion of the iceberg underneath the water represents a person’s invisible characteristics.
The invisible characteristics that we all possess are extremely strong, just as the part of the iceberg underneath the water is larger and stronger than the tip of the iceberg. These invisible characteristics carry more weight and are deceptive because people can’t see them. Our invisible characteristics, determined by our values and morals, give us the confidence to act visibly. When we experience people and situations, these invisible characteristics will determine our behavior.
Sylvester remembers growing up in a household where there was an understood value: CHILDREN DO NOT GO INTO THE LIVING ROOM! The living room, with plastic on the furniture, was a place that was off limits to children. Guests were allowed to go into the living room, but he and his siblings were not. He grew to understand this as a way of life. This was a value that was hidden in his invisible.
One day while visiting a friend, Sylvester observed his friend’s two younger siblings running into the living room. As he observed them jumping and playing in the living room, his invisible values sent him a message: What they were doing was not right, and if Sylvester didn’t do something these kids were going to suffer major consequences. He immediately leapt from his seat and ran into the living room, ordering the children to come out and resume playing in a more “appropriate” part of the house. Soon after, his friend came in to question Sylvester as to what he was doing. Sylvester went on to explain, which caused his friend to laugh uncontrollably. Sylvester was informed that it was perfectly all right for the children to be in the living room. What had prompted Sylvester to be so visibly vocal? It was his invisible value of children not being permitted in the living room.
Although Sylvester felt completely justified in his assessment of the situation, he was wrong within that particular context. There are times when our invisible will give us a false sense of security, encouraging our visible to act within that comfort zone. We say things we shouldn’t say and we do things we should not do, because our invisible tells us that not only is it acceptable, it’s the “right” thing to do.
Many times in the workplace, co-workers are not able to control their invisible characteristics, often leading to verbal exchanges that may be damaging to a relationship. One of the fieriest coaches Sylvester has ever witnessed is former Indiana University and current Texas Tech basketball coach, Bobby Knight. Bobby is known for his temper, his antics, and his ability to achieve success as a coach. As a former athlete, Sylvester has often wondered what it would be like to play for someone like Bobby Knight. Obviously Coach Knight believes that public verbal confrontation is acceptable during a practice, game, or press conference. Since Sylvester believes that problems between two people should be handled in private, being coached by Mr. Knight might prove difficult for him. This is not to say that Mr. Knight’s approach is right or wrong . . . it is just simply his approach. It is an approach with which he is comfortable and one that has brought him great coaching success. There most likely will be times when a different approach may be more advisable and effective, but unless people learn how to manage their invisible, they will always respond the way they feel most comfortable.
Managing one’s invisible characteristics is extremely important. Although our invisible is at the root of our existence, we sometimes have to produce behaviors that are not products of those roots. It is important to understand the need to manage and control our thoughts and our actions.
When our invisibles get in the way, what others see in us is a judgmental nature. This never brings people closer together. Having positive and cooperative relationships in the workplace depend on a person’s ability to manage his or her values in a way that doesn’t come across as critical to another person.
How we view people often creates feelings about them, and these feelings encourage us to treat people a certain way. We all were acculturated with values of particular groups. There were statements made in our homes and communities that become fixed beliefs in our invisible. These beliefs influence how we treat people. If your belief system tells you that all women should be homemakers and caretakers, then you will consider a woman who wants a career to be wrong. It is so important for us to manage our beliefs and our behaviors. Remember, just because you feel a certain way, doesn’t mean that you should act on it. Everyone is not punished for going into the living room.
In order for any company to be successful in launching a full-fledged diversity initiative, all employees must first develop a clear sense of cultural awareness. We have attempted to lay the foundation for this in the first two chapters. It is critical to be aware of how much culture permeates everything.
Another part of cultural awareness is the understanding that cultural differences do not represent one group doing something “wrong.” Difference is simply that—different. No one group is right at the other’s expense. This is an important understanding for management and workers to have in a workplace that is starting a diversity initiative.
We cannot get away from the invisible characteristics of diversity. They can actually make or break the camaraderie of a company. Employees come into an organization with their own values, morals, and beliefs. Although we don’t sit down and formally assess them, they will reveal themselves in due time. During interviews, we do our best to assess the values of potential employees. We offer hypothetical scenarios and ask about their response to these situations. We ask about their past experiences and how they responded to them. We take these responses and we weigh them against not only what the company needs, but also what we agree to be the company culture. We then use this form of assessment to influence our decision-making.
After the hiring decision comes the introductory period. As in any new relationship, there is a period of time when people are getting to know each other. During this time, we become more aware of our own invisible characteristics. This is the time when we are attempting to make the best impression. We are more careful in managing our invisible because we don’t want to do anything that will cause conflict or put the relationship in jeopardy. We work hard to prevent our invisible from influencing and manifesting itself in our visible—at least for a while until our comfort level increases. The more familiar we become in the relationship, the more we allow our invisible characteristics to become visible.
After a period of time, we believe the relationship can withstand disagreements or differences of opinion, and so we don’t control our invisible as much as we did initially. The more we let down our guard, the more our invisible becomes apparent. We have taken the time to assess the relationship and to see if our true self will be accepted and if we can accept others. If our values and their values don’t line up, we must find a way to manage how we feel so that it does not affect our ability to get the job done. The companies that achieve more—in terms of increased teamwork, productivity, and profit and decreased employee turnover—are the companies that stress the importance of truly understanding the position of others before expressing one’s own position.
Our invisible is an important and powerfully influential aspect of who we are, but if we don’t take the time to manage it, we can cause damage to the very relationships that are important to us. Although you may not value your boss’s work ethic, it is important that you assess the strength of your relationship before you allow your invisible to be seen. Your inability to effectively manage your invisible could lead to your suspension or possible termination. It can also affect the overall mood of the company if your invisible and your boss’ invisible are shown to be incompatible. This is why it is important to understand your morals, values, and beliefs, and to assess your relationships before you allow them to become visible.
In this chapter, we have discussed factors that are influential in our interactions with others. In the next chapter we will be discussing why visual information is so important and why it is we connect visually.
Why We Connect Visually
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the five senses, many of us rely on vision the most to make sense of
and to organize our perception of the world. In the case of visually
impaired individuals, they will develop their other senses to a
stronger degree.
Our Visual Sense is Primary
Phrases such as, “seeing is believing” and “what you see is what you get” indicate the importance of our visual sense. Our visual sense directly relates to our faith, belief, confidence, and assurance. We need to believe in the people who surround us, and the one way that we gage our level of belief is by what we see.
We spend time with our families—our spouses and children—on a regular basis. This time affords us the opportunity to get to know who they really are—their character and what they value. Although this is accomplished through a variety of means, what they show us and what we see is critical to our understanding of them.
We believe that when we look into a person’s eyes we can see the truth revealed there. Whenever we are attempting to communicate with someone important to us, and we want them to understand the importance of our words, we will look him or her in the eyes and request the same kind of eye contact in return. When we tell our life partner for the first time that we love him or her, it is important to combine the seriousness and honesty of our emotions with a visual message.
Parents across the globe attempting to ascertain the truth from their children can be heard saying, “Look me in the eyes when you tell me that!” In many cultures, it is believed that we will be able to ascertain if the truth is being told by the strength and steadiness of our child’s gaze.
Let’s say that you have a 16 year-old son. You and your son have a great relationship. You spend a great deal of time together and you are proud of his accomplishments. Not only is he an A-student, but also a star athlete in football and baseball. On top of that, he volunteers at a local home for the elderly. One day while you are sitting at home, the telephone rings. A police officer informs you that your son has been arrested. The charge is armed robbery. When you hear this news, it is hard for you to believe it. How can this be true? This kind of behavior does not match the person whom you know your son to be. You refuse to believe this information because you didn’t see him do it. We want to see the proof. We want to view the evidence. Our faith is not placed in the words of the police; it is placed solely on what we see, or in this case the absence of what we see. Being visually connected helps us understand and accept the truth.
Looking Good is Important
Being visually connected is also important because appearances— how someone or something looks—are important to us. Oftentimes we use visual cues to assess people whom we don’t know.
Did you ever people-watch? What is it that makes people-watching so entertaining? People-watching is one of Kim’s favorite pastimes. She loves to create stories about people’s lives based on what she sees and observes. She knows absolutely nothing about them but she is able to concoct their entire fictional life story based on what they look like. People-watching can be very entertaining and hurts no one, as long as the people-watchers keep their comments and thoughts to themselves.
People-watching illustrates the importance of visible characteristics. Kim would have difficulty making up a story about a person whom she was unable to see. A visual picture is useful for us to begin making assumptions about another person.
Of course there is no way of knowing if our assumptions are correct. As much as we would like to believe that we have good insight into human behavior, it’s most likely that the majority of our assumptions are incorrect. Why? Because the only thing we know is what the person looks like. What does someone’s visible exterior tell us about the actual person? Nothing much, though we rely heavily on outer appearances in making our decisions about people.
Makeovers have become very prominent in this day and age. Some shows offer home makeovers while others promote physical make-overs. Television viewers are very interested in these makeover shows, as evidenced by their ratings, because makeovers enhance the visual appearance, and looking good is important.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Although we understand the importance of values, morals, trust, and commitment, these attributes are often less important than a person’s appearance.
Have you ever been single and interested in dating? When your friends ask you what you are looking for in a date, you most likely list certain admirable features, such as: a sense of humor, optimism, a sense of family, loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, and kindness. But if a friend tells you that he or she knows the perfect person for you, what do you normally say? “Oh great! Maybe you can arrange for us to meet Friday night?” Probably not. It is more likely that you will ask, “What does he or she look like?” There is nothing more dreaded
than the blind date whose best tag line is: “He/she is really nice.”
Some people are really direct about their physical preferences. A woman may describe herself as desiring a man who is tall; a man may describe himself as a “leg man.” Unfortunately, for many people these physical characteristics become the basis for choosing a mate.
So while personality characteristics are very important to the long term success of a relationship, most relationships never get beyond the initial hello unless there is some type of mutual physical attraction based on appearance.
Visual Connection
The Internet has really added a new dimension to the importance of being visually connected. We use the Internet for many things: purchasing cars, homes, and even finding that special someone. When signing up on web sites that offer dating services, most members include an extensive description of themselves, highlighting their physical attributes. They will also provide an overview of non-physical characteristics such as their personality, likes and dislikes, religious affiliations, and education status. Despite the fact that members provide these detailed descriptions about themselves, they are strongly encouraged to include a photograph. It is the photograph that will, in many cases, “seal the deal.” The visual connection increases the likelihood that you are going to have success in finding that special someone. In fact, most people using Internet dating services won’t even contact a person whose picture is not posted.
Years ago, telephone conferencing became a major tool of business. Businesses were able to communicate at the same time with several people from different parts of the world, completing many business deals without the added travel expenses. Although this technology was useful, it did not provide its participants with visual information. Video conferencing, on the other hand, allows participants to see the individuals with whom they are speaking. The fact that participants can see each other gives them an opportunity to read their faces and make conclusions about their emotional state. This was a step up from using the Internet, because videoconferencing allowed you to see actual, in the moment, movement and emotion. However, now the Internet is catching up with web conferencing which provides virtually the same service.
Visual connection is important not only in business but also in personal relationships. For example, if a relationship is not working and one person is considering ending the relationship, a face-toface meeting is desired so that the emotion behind the words can be seen. This is also true when delivering an endearing message. We want someone who is expressing his or her innermost feelings about us to do it face-to-face.
Since visual connection is so important, it becomes imperative that we are viewed by others in a favorable way. Recently the National Basketball Association (NBA) instituted a dress code. This decision sparked a great debate amongst players and fans alike. Many fans did not believe that the NBA had the right to tell players how to dress. Some players called the decision racist, believing that the rules that were being instituted were directed against black players. There were many points of view on this issue. However, the NBA stated that it simply wanted to change the image of the players. It wanted the players’ off-court attire to be more along the lines of a business person so that the world would view them more favorably.
Logos and Other Symbols
Many companies spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to create logos. A logo is the visual representation of the company. Many man hours and thousands of dollars go into making the decision about a logo because the visual connection is so important. Along with the logo come decisions concerning business cards, stationary, office furniture, interior decorating, and the decor of the corporate building.
The physical environment speaks volumes. When you are selecting paints, colors, and furniture for your business, it is important to take into account how these will be perceived by your customers. The ambiance that you create will go a long way toward building your company’s reputation. Finally, businesses concern themselves with the appearance of their employees. Many companies have dress codes—some even requiring uniformity among the staff. The
appearance of the physical environment and that of the employees
are important factors in improving a company’s visual connection.
Many designers today rely on their name or logo to encourage people to purchase their product. Designers, such as Tommy Hilfiger, have created logos that stand out; when the logo is displayed, the customer is automatically connected to the designer. The Nike “swoosh” has become synonymous with athletic attire. Their commercials always end with the logo because it’s something many con
sumers have connected with.
Michael Jordan has his own line of athletic attire. For his clothing line to be successful, it had to be distinguished from Nike’s. For many years Michael was Nike’s chief spokesperson. Many would say that Michael was responsible for making the “swoosh” so easily recognized. Branching off to start his own line was challenging but Michael managed to pull it off. Michael’s logo is a silhouette of him holding a basketball moving towards the basket for a dunk. Since this visual image is very familiar to Michael’s fans, it has become a logo that works.
When an athlete’s popularity begins to soar, companies will bid for the athlete’s sponsorship of their product because they want their customers to have a visual connection to the rising star athlete. Athletes such as LeBron James and Michael Vick are today’s hot commodities. Since society already accepts and approves of them, companies want them to market their products. It is therefore important for athletes to continue to look good. Many athletes hire individuals to make sure that their image stays clean so that they continue to be marketable. Kobe Bryant is an example of how an athlete’s reputation can be damaged if society comes to view a person in a negative light.
One of the symbols that many people around the world connect with visually is the cross. Many of us will draw a spiritual conclusion about the individual wearing a cross. This visual symbol is supposed to say something about the individual who displays it, in much the same way as gang members display their colors. The point is that visual symbolism takes on a life of its own. This is not such a bad thing when it relates to inanimate objects. However, when making decisions about people based on their visual appearance, we need to evaluate the visual information and question its accuracy and validity.
Visual Input Aids Communication
Companies rely on the fact that their employees will engage in effective communication with each other and with management. Effective communication keeps the company operating and growing. However, it is important that most of the communication take place face-to-face. Personal, face-to-face communication is important because we connect visually with an individual’s emotions. Our face and physical behavior will frequently tell a story that may not be heard in the words alone.
Research has shown that communication has both verbal and nonverbal components. The actual words we use comprise only 7% of the message we convey. The added vocal qualities we assign to these words in terms of tone, pitch, volume, and cadence comprise another 38% of the message. Guess what makes up the other 55% of the meaning of our expressed communication? You guessed it—our visual behavior: posture, eye contact, and facial expressions. Another interesting fact is that three-quarters of this visible behavior is based on what a person’s face communicates during an exchange.1
Oftentimes, without even realizing, our facial expressions will convey our feelings. People who know us may pick up on nuances in our facial expressions that visually display how we are really feeling. There may be times when we raise our eyebrows in anger. Or we may be frightened and try not to show it, but our frozen facial expression gives us away.
There are times when employees or managers may have to deliver bad news. There was an incident when a company was faced with major cutbacks. After several meetings, management decided that they would lay off certain employees. The management team further decided to call these employees at home to inform them that they were being laid off. The reason for this decision was to avoid having disgruntled employees at work. This news was obviously devastating to the employees who were laid off. For most of them, the most significant concerns related to taking care of their families and being able to pay their bills. However, there was a young woman who was concerned about something totally different.
When she heard the news, she asked to come in and meet with the management team. The team agreed and the woman came into the office later that week. The management team quickly expressed their regrets for the decision, explaining what had occurred with the budget and what their plans were for the future. As she sat and listened, she began to cry. She shared that several years before she came to the company, she had gone through a divorce. After eight years of marriage her husband called her on the phone one day and told her he wanted a divorce. She stated that the feelings she had experienced then all came rushing back to her when she received the telephone call telling her that she was laid off. She had missed the opportunity to see her husband’s face when he delivered his fateful news to her. She now wanted the opportunity to see the faces of her managers when they gave her the news. This way she would be able to tell if there was truly remorse in the decision. Although the words that were spoken delivered a disturbing outcome, she wanted the visual connection to better assess the situation.
It is important that managers understand the strength behind visible connections. We use emails and memos as ways to communicate with the largest number of people in the shortest amount of time. However, when individuals are given a visual experience, the words take on a more genuine meaning. Although you will not always have an opportunity to meet with people on a personal level, it is important to understand the power behind doing so.
Without the visual connection, the potential for miscommunication increases. A person can infer sarcasm into an email when it wasn’t intended. A memo can communicate facts but not the emotion behind the decision. Whenever possible, it is worth the extra effort to communicate in person. It actually saves time in the long run that may be spent dealing with potential hurt feelings or clearing up any miscommunication. Although the Internet is a wonderful tool for communicating, without the visual connection much of the intended message can be lost.
In the next chapter, we will discuss how our values and beliefs (often based on visual information) quickly lead to righteousness, which never helps to connect people.
Values, Beliefs, and Righteousness
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Chapter 1, culture was defined as a total way of life. It follows
that people’s values and beliefs are shaped and influenced by
their cultural experiences. Values and beliefs that dictate what is
right and wrong form the foundation of a particular culture. Many
of these values and beliefs are often not conscious. We must there