Oh Santa!

by

Stephanie Dagg

Published by Stephanie Dagg at Smashwords

Copyright 2011 Stephanie J Dagg

Discover other books by Stephanie Dagg on her Smashwords page at http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/SJDagg and visit her website at http://www.booksarecool.com

Cover illustration by Roger Fereday www.rogerferedayillustrator.co.uk

Cover typography by Caitlin Dagg

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Chapter 1 Too Much Santa

“Oh Santa!”

Teddy Bear Jake sighed as he stood and looked at his boss. Santa was stretched out in an armchair in front of the fire, snoring very loudly. It was New Year’s Day and Santa had been asleep since he’d arrived back at the North Pole shortly before dawn on Christmas Day. He didn’t normally sleep this long after his busy night delivering toys to all the children.

Teddy Bear Jake was worried. Santa must be getting unfit. And there did seem to be an awful lot of him sticking out of the chair. Was he putting on weight too? That would never do. Santa must look after himself properly. He was the world’s busiest man with the world’s most important job, after all. It was time to do something about Santa’s lifestyle.

Teddy Bear Jake tried to wake Santa up. First he tickled his nose, then he pulled his beard gently, and then he blew down his ear. But Santa only stirred slightly. Next Teddy Bear Jake tried poking him and prodding him, but Santa just snored louder. Then Teddy Bear Jake yelled ‘WAKE UP’ at the top of his voice. Nothing happened at all that time.

“I know what to do!” grinned Teddy Bear Jake.

He hurried off to the kitchen and came back with a huge plate piled high with hot, steaming mince pies. They smelled wonderful. He wafted the plate under Santa’s nose a few times. Santa’s nostrils began to twitch. He licked his lips sleepily. His eyelids began to flicker. Then with a loud “Yum!” he sat up, grabbed the plate and gobbled all the mince pies down in five seconds flat.

“Oh Santa!” grumbled Teddy Bear Jake crossly. “You weren’t meant to do that.”

“Why ever not?” chuckled Santa. “I’m starving! And I’d love a couple of pots or tea too, please. Could you run and put the kettle on for me, Teddy Bear Jake?”

“No,” replied Teddy Bear Jake grumpily. “You can do it yourself. You need the exercise.”

“Right-ho!” smiled Santa. He tried to get up, but he couldn’t move. “Um. I appear to be stuck. I think my chair has shrunk. Can you lend me a paw here, my friend?”

But Teddy Bear Jake had to lend three paws before he was able to heave Santa out of his chair. They left a few bits of Santa’s trousers behind too.

“Goodness gracious,” panted Santa. “I’m worn out now. I think I’d better sit back down again for a rest.”

“Oh no, you don’t,” protested Teddy Bear Jake, quickly pulling the chair out of the way. He couldn’t face having to drag Santa out of it again. “I think you need to go on a healthy diet. You’d better see a doctor! I’ll fetch one at once!”

He rushed out of the room, grabbing a paintbrush and a couple of tins off the shelf as he went. Santa was too busy yawning to notice.

“That’s funny,” muttered Santa. “I didn’t know there was a doctor at the North Pole. No one ever gives sick here – my special Santa magic sees to that! And I’m sure there’s no need to make such a fuss. I could just cut down from six spoonfuls of sugar in my tea to five, no problem. That should do the trick nicely.”

Suddenly his boots felt tight.

“Ooh! These things hurt,” he grumbled.

He bent down to take them off but something got in the way. His tummy!

“Well, Christmas trees and tinsel!” he exclaimed, staring at it. “I’m sure it never used to be that big! Perhaps I do need to see a doctor.”

He limped around in his tight boots for a little while, humming Christmas carols and listening to his tummy rumble. That tiny little plateful of mince pies was hardly enough to keep a mouse alive. And where was that doctor?

Just then there was a knock at the door. In walked a Giant Panda. He had a toy stethoscope round his neck and he was wearing a white coat. He looked amazingly like an exact black and white version of Teddy Bear Jake. What’s more, he smelt strongly of paint, and to top it all, he left a trail of painty footprints across the floor.